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The Student News Site of University of Wisconsin-Madison

The Badger Herald

The Student News Site of University of Wisconsin-Madison

The Badger Herald

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Only in Wisconsin: woman steals beer, cheese from Madison home

Only+in+Wisconsin%3A+woman+steals+beer%2C+cheese+from+Madison+home
Flickr user Aurelian Săndulescu

Police used all five senses to arrest a woman Tuesday evening for a home burglary after she attempted to steal a man’s laptop and made off with a snack.

According to a Madison Police Department incident report, police responded to a call at Mallory Circle at 4 p.m. when a 39-year-old Madison man returned to his home to find an intruder.

The victim found the intruder, 37-year-old Kelly Mayer, as reported by the Wisconsin State Journal, standing inside his home after he pushed his way inside, as Mayer was trying to keep him out.

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Mayer was holding the victim’s backpack with his laptop inside and, according to the report, the man reclaimed his backpack and pushed Mayer out of his house. He reportedly told her to wait outside while he called the police.

“She responded by eating a chunk of cheese,” MPD spokesperson Joel DeSpain wrote in the report. “Cheese that had been in the victim’s refrigerator.”

By the time police arrived, Mayer fled the scene. However, witnesses pointed police in the right direction where they were able to sniff her out, literally.

Police were able to track her down by the scent of perfume from the victim’s bathroom which Mayer reportedly doused herself in after breaking into the house.

According to the report, police found her hiding in a nearby woods.

Upon investigation police found items believed to be stolen from the victim’s home in Mayer’s pocket. Items included money, electronics and an unopened can of Guinness.

Police noted that though the can was unopened, it appeared as though she had been drinking.

While police searched her person, Mayer inquired about her cellphone which she said was in one of her pockets.

When police could not find it, they called the number and, sure enough, the phone rang from inside of the victim’s home.

DeSpain commented on the uniqueness of the event.

“It was an unusual burglary, to say the least,” he said. “In fact, the suspect seemed quite pleased with its outcome, saying several times to officers: ‘What does it take to get arrested around here.'”

Apparently, all it takes is stealing beer and cheese.

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