Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald


Voting blue: Why America needs a water sign president

It’s frankly inappropriate to let a Gemini have a second term in office
Molly DeVore

When electing a candidate to office, you have to take a lot into consideration — foreign policies, general character, zodiac signs, etc.

That last one often slips under the radar, but it’s the single-most-important trait to keep in mind when judging one’s overall character. It’s generally easier to understand where people are coming from, their motivations and whether or not they’re fit to run a country based off their zodiac sign. I would, of course, never generalize a person based off their sun sign, but trust me, a lot of things click once it’s revealed.

At least, a lot clicked for me when I realized both Donald Trump and Mike Pence were born in June — the time of Gemini. Now any Average Joe knows Geminis can be some of the most hoppin’ or the most floppin’ people. Their two-faced personality makes them adaptable and charming, but their impulsive, unreliable behavior can quickly catch up to them. 


With this information, it’s honestly no surprise to me Donny was elected. Geminis have a way. with. words. One way or another, however, their slipping snake tongue will hiss into the wrong ear and BOOM — they’ve lost all your respect. It’s happened with every single Gem I know. 


We can see the downfall of this air sign with the two other Gemini presidents. George “Hates Women” Bush and John “FatAzzzz” Kennedy. AKA Dead and Dead. (The coronavirus almost got our current Gemini, but I like to think she’s just edging us).

So sure, neither were TOO bad (and neither were too bad on the eyes either. Call me crazy, but I go buck wild for a father-son duo). But neither were the greatest presidents ever. 

You know who ARE some of the best presidents of all time? John Adams and Teddy Roosevelt ring a bell?

Maybe they’re not the greatest in your book, but they’re def an improvement from Mr. H.W. — W for War — and Mr. JFK — K for Killed (or perhaps kilt, because y’know he’s a little Irish American? Let’s keep it light). 

Adams and Roosevelt are both Scorpios, and you can clearly tell by their fearless leadership, empathy and people skills.

Girl fails test because she’s an Aries

Adams was a great writer, the first prez to claim the White House as his stomping grounds and — besides his son — the only of the first 12 presidents to not own slaves. 

Sooooo he’s creative, a trailblazer and understands human rights? That about sums up a Scorpio.

Ole Ted was also a baller. Mans was alllll over conservation, labor unions and busting big bizniz. Need I say less? 

It’s not a surprise these presidents had success, as water signs generally denote emotion, communication and intellect. We don’t need someone with all the facts and figures to run the country — we need someone with FEELING. 

Call me controversial, but my water sign intellect is telling me what this country NEEDS is a Scorpio as Commander in Chief — which Mr. Joe Biden happens to be. He turns Old as Hell on Nov. 20. 

And this isn’t just my political opinion — I’m talking galaxies, the stars and the moon, baby, the spirit within and the energy without. There’s really no other way to say this, but it’s time Miss Scorpio gets her limelight. 

Your corona-scope for outbreak season

Even if you aren’t supes in touch with your inner aura, I trust you’ll follow YOUR instincts this Election Day. First, do a little meddy teddy (meditation), test your intuition (I like to look up TikToks for this) and use your zodiac knowledge to the best of your ability. 

Admittedly, Scorpio isn’t the best sign in the zodiac and Biden’s probably not the most ideal candidate you want to bubble in on your ballot. But, I’ll give you the same advice I give myself when doing literally any assignment or writing any Badger Herald article — it’s the best we can do right now. Accept it, submit it and move on.

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