When my friend asked if I wanted some coffee this morning, I responded with a simple “no.” When I went to the store and the cashier asked me if I wanted my receipt, I responded with “no, thank you.” When my brother offered me some fruit, I responded with “nope.” Did this mean that I wanted coffee, or that I wanted my receipt or that I wanted the fruit that I was offered? No.
NO does mean NO. The absence of NO does not mean yes.
I thought about writing on this topic for quite some time now, something that I feel passionate about, but I found that I wasn’t quite ready for the extreme comments I might have received. However, I feel as if the time has come for me to say fuck it.
Rape culture does exist. Jokes about sexual assault, victim blaming and glamorized views on sexual violence are just a few of rape culture’s elements. Rape culture can be defined as a culture in which rape is prevalent and pervasive and is sanctioned and maintained through fundamental attitudes and beliefs about gender, sexuality and violence. In other words, sexual violence is normalized and accepted by our society, media and pop culture. Regardless of the comments that I read on David Hookstead’s letter to the editor stating that rape culture doesn’t exist, or articles that claim that “women asked for it,” I chose specifically to write about this topic because of some unfortunate events that occurred recently at our university.
A former University of Wisconsin football recruit was charged with felony sexual assault. On the morning of December 14, 2013, a student was raped in one of the residence halls here on campus. The recruit had consumed a large amount of alcohol prior to entering the victim’s room. The incident occurred during an official campus-recruiting visit. The victim later explained to police that the sex was not consensual by any means.
When I think about the fact that these incidents occurred in one of our residence halls a few floors below me, it makes me sick. I feel for this young woman. I have come to know her roommate quite well and hope to build a further friendship with her. Her unfortunate experience constitutes the reality that rape can happen to anyone and it does happen to people you know. It is not this un-tangible, foreign concept that we see so often on the news or in the media. It is prevalent on our campus, and has happened many times in the past, continuing relentlessly to today.
My intent for this article is not to explain that male perpetrators are the problem. Men have raped women, and women have raped men. Rather, the point is to focus attention to the issue of sexual violence on campus.
This critical lens examines the choices of rape victims as opposed to those of the rapist, which can be as painful as the violent act itself.
Rapists are rarely the scary men who jump out of the bushes and grab a woman. About two-thirds of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim, making education about sexual violence and the goal of prevention even more important.
I personally applaud this young woman for her bravery in coming forward and for all other victims who have come forward. It is not easy to stand up to society, but this is something we must move away from. We must stop accepting rape as inevitable and making it shameful for victims to share their story with authorities and others. If it was your daughter, brother, wife, son or friend, would you rather they demand justice regardless of accusations of lying or “deserving it?” Damn right you would.
We need to stop pointing fingers and start moving forward as a community and a society. We must stand up, not only to rape and its cultural norms, but all issues that promote victim shaming. Letters like that of David Hookstead demonstrate the simple ignorance of some students on campus. However, being aware of the problem is no longer enough; we must move forward and take action.
Allie Ebben ([email protected]) is a freshman majoring in nursing.
