To many in this great country of ours, the Golden Arches inspire more excitement than the Golden Gate Bridge. They are a beacon in this desolate world, promising hot, glistening french fries and burgers that are guaranteed not to be tainted with any healthy shit. And who could not become ecstatic at the thought of 32 ounces of thirst-quenching soda bathed in phosphoric acid for just $1? So, when the city of Madison built a pedestrian bridge on E. Washington Ave. that obscured the view of America’s most beloved watering, or rather, corn-syruping hole, their lawsuit seeking over $400,000 in compensation for business lost was more than reasonable, right?

Hell no! Back in 2006 when the whole mess began, the city of Madison hired an appraiser to determine how much business McDonald’s would lose as a result of the construction of the bridge. The number they came up with was $56,000, and they wrote McDonald’s the check willingly. All seemed fine until two years later, when the corporation smacked the city with a lawsuit demanding $408,900 in damages on top of the $56,000 they had already received.

Their argument was that the footbridge completely obstructed the view of the big M to vehicles heading away from the capital on East Wash, and by the time they saw the restaurant it was too late to pull in. This may have been a valid argument if you ignore the fact that people familiar with Madison know that the McD’s is still there. That means the franchise expected they had lost $464,900 in profit from visitors to Madison over two years. That’s a lot of Dollar Menu items.

Another argument put forward by the chain is that by using eminent domain and building the footbridge, the city of Madison changed the land to make it unsuitable for a drive-thru restaurant. The chain is considering abandoning their current site and moving to a strip mall further down the street; something the city is trying to avoid. What is interesting about this argument is that it took McDonald’s two years to decide their land was worthless as a drive-thru and to demand a higher payment and that the company didn’t provide any hard numbers comparing sales.

McDonald’s filed the lawsuit back in 2008, but on August 9th of this year, they came to an agreement with the city of Madison: they would settle for a mere $312,000 that many say will come from tax dollars. With assistant city attorney Doran Viste and Ald. Larry Palm’s endorsement, the Board of Estimates unanimously agreed to pay the $300K bill, and just last night the City Council voted to approve it. It’s looking pretty unlikely that the jury trial set for September 20th will change the outcome, and McDonald’s will have a chance to fatten their pockets without having to flip a single grease-laden burger.

So why did the city cave in when threatened by the fast food titan? Madison residents aren’t exactly fast food chain sympathizers, and there are 24 other McDonald’s locations in a fifteen-mile radius of the Madison area. They had already paid the corporation what they were legally required to. But the reason the city is willing to pay the $300,000 without a fight is because they’re scared that if they don’t, the case would be dragged out and the legal fees would be even more costly. To a multi-billion dollar corporation, the cost is just a drop in the bucket, but to a city living off of an ever-decreasing budget, the results could be disastrous.

So, once again, big business declares victory. But of course, the city deserved to lose, for how dare they put an obstacle between the starving masses and their sustenance of choice? Especially if this obstacle encourages (gasp!) walking or biking. The moral of the story is that if you fight McDonald’s, you will lose. You will lose even faster if you don’t even put up a fight. They know this, and let me tell you: they’re lovin’ it.

Allegra Dimperio ([email protected]) is a sophomore intending to major in journalism.