The Madison Police Department’s famously comedic incident report writer Joel DeSpain had his work cut out for him this weekend, thanks to a series of bizarre incidents including a trombone-damaging audience member and a police horse and bicycle collision on State Street.

Bicyclist, MPD horse trot away unharmed from State Street accident

A 23-year-old male bicyclist collided with one of the Madison Police Department’s horses, Ahab, late Saturday night.

According to a Madison Police Department incident report, the bicyclist did not provide the horse with enough room on the street, and he tried to pass the horse without holding onto the handlebars.

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The bicyclist did not have a light on his bike, but he did have on a helmet. Both parties were uninjured.

In the report, the MPD reminds bicyclists to be aware of potential obstacles including members of the mounted patrol — Ahab, Bubba, Luna and Torres.

The MPD asks peddlers to take a wide berth on the streets if they see any of the horses with their human partners.

Cell phone hurl damages trombone during Willy Street Fair

During the Willy Street Fair Sunday, an audience member threw a cellphone at the main stage band, damaging to a trombone.

Mark Macaulay, the suspect, a 50-year old male, threw a cellphone onto the stage, hitting the victim and the bell of the victim’s trombone.

According to an incident report, the cellphone hit damaged bell of the trombone. The phone then hit the victim in the mouth, causing swelling in his lip.

After the victim went for ice, a concerned audience member confronted Macaulay and told him to leave, the report said. An altercation followed in which Macaulay ripped the man’s Hawaiian shirt.

The report said the police were called, and Macaulay continued to struggle with police and sheriff’s deputies as he was arrested for battery, criminal damage to property, disorderly conduct and resisting and obstructing.

The victim said his horn would have to be replaced, valuing it at $2,800.

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Madison woman drew steak knife on four people

On Regent Street Friday night, a group of friends experienced an equally bizarre, but much scarier encounter.

According to a Madison Police Department incident report: A woman came up to three females and a male with her arms open wide and began to hug some of the female victims.

The woman stepped back and asked the victims if she could kill them tonight as she produced a steak knife in her hand.

One of the victims, a 19-year-old man, tackled the suspect.

The suspect lost control of the knife as a victim kicked it away and threw it down a storm drain.

The University of Wisconsin Police Department and MPD took her into custody and she was taken to a hospital. She appears to have severe mental health issues.