New pandemic on State Street: Freshmen fakes

Upperclassmen’s navigation to bars now that all freshmen have fakes


MUST READ: Banter headlines that writers were simply too uncreative to write

Curtesy of my notes app


Forgo the asthmatic: Petition to vaccinate Mifflin Street before Block Party wreaks havoc on campus

Mifflin Block Party is right around the corner, and so is a fourth COVID-19 wave


Daily Cardinal voted campus staple alongside Red Shed, bathrooms in Van Hise

The people have spoken! Campus finally celebrates the Dirty Bird for their top notch work


Complete, unpretentious review of Madison’s breakky sammies

Take it from me, a person who exclusively ate breakfast sandwiches during summer quarantine


One page at a time: looking at libraries as essential services

How the community hub continues to provide people with unique resources


Breaking: Having empty coffee cup in front of you now stops the spread of COVID-19

This new science is helpful for people who deeply care about their peers but are often minorly inconvenienced


Respect yourself, stop flirting with 23-year-old Epic employees on Tinder

Opening lines that'll nip your relationship angst in the bud (butt? [who even knows])


Spring semester scopes

If you're looking for an unfunny, completely baseless read on yourself, look no further


Highlights from this year! They exist! Kind of! Yay!

What will we blame everything on next year?

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