The majority of campus at UW-Madison identifies as heterosexual, an orientation that comes with certain privileges. Having such privileges may cause normally conscientious students to ignore or even take part in bullying.

Bullying: before a hate crime roars to a boil

New anti-bullying campaigns at UW and homophobic incidents across the country have shown bullying has followed students into maturity, and what was thought to be a problem bound to swing sets and high school halls has now morphed into a serious problem for adults.

Dean of Students Lori Berquam, who identifies herself as gay, has championed LGBT programs and campaigns at UW and knows the sting of bullying. When she lived in the dorms at UW-La Crosse, someone wrote, albeit incorrectly, “Dike” on her room’s message board.

While she said she found the incident and perpetrator’s clear incompetence based on the spelling of the word amusing at the time, she said it would have been a different story had she not been comfortable with herself.

Similar incidents currently plague UW residence halls, said Magpie Martinez, director for Diversity Programs for University Housing. 

It is easier for University Housing to address homophobic incidents when the victim can say what happened to him or her and who did it, she said.

Anonymous incidents, however, such as someone writing homophobic, hateful language on the whiteboard of a resident’s door can not only leave no suspects, but also make the resident feel unsafe.

Bullying does not stop outside the residence halls. Robin Matheis, director of the LGBT Campus Center, said when a student is active and ‘out’ on the UW campus, they can get glares from passersby.

Heterosexual people do not realize how often ‘out’ LGBT students get glared at and looked at when manning booths for the center, she said.

“They work with [the campus center] and they are working a table, and they have to deal with funny looks and whispers and snide comments,” Matheis said.

While the campus has room to improve its inclusiveness and tolerance, an open records request filed with the Division of Student Life, UW Legal and the Office of Equity and Diversity yielded no formal complaints relating to the maltreatment of LGBT students.

Unintentional bigotry

Failed that biochemistry exam? Lost your Wiscard? Missed your bus?

That is so gay, right?

Wrong.

While it is extremely inappropriate to use ethnic, racial and religious terms as substitutes for insults and expletives, it is still common to hear terms that refer to homosexuality used derogatively.

What is most startling is words like ‘gay’ and ‘fag’ are often interchangeable with ‘lame’ and ‘stupid,’ said Steven Petrow, author of ‘Straight Talk’ and ‘Queeries,’ which has been featured in the Huffington Post.

While using homosexual slurs is not as severe as assault or violence, it is still evidence of homophobia and intolerance. There are different shades of it, Petrow said, and they range from using bigoted language to being overtly and maliciously violent.

The antidote for dropping these insults? An apology. However elementary it may seem, having the courage to admit having wrongly used ‘gay’ and ‘fag’ goes a long way, Petrow said.

But an apology cannot fix everything, and sometimes ignorant language is only a part of the problem.

Martinez said students who grew up with an attitude which may not have been welcoming or accepting to LGBT people will not immediately shed it when they enter the university, and there can be some animosity toward LGBT students in the residence halls.

However, Martinez said the Diversity Programs in the residence halls have programs like How to Be an Ally and Speak Up, which Martinez implemented herself and stresses tolerance and respect for all.

Martinez said the atmosphere in the residence halls toward LGBT students is analogous to the attitudes in the state of Wisconsin.

“Society really makes [people who identify as LGBT] second class citizens based on some of the laws and things that are out there,” Mattheis said.

Coming out: an ongoing process

Last month LGBTCC held a series of events during the week of Oct. 10 to celebrate Coming Out Month. Students could stride out of a cardboard closet on Library Mall and listen to poet Alix Olsen at A Room of One’s Own bookstore.

The events highlight and celebrate a difficult transition that LGBT people go through and continue to go through throughout their lives.

Heterosexual students do not often realize it is a privilege, Matheis said, to not have to come out on a regular basis to fellow students, family and colleagues.

“If you are heterosexual, you think nothing about sharing that. It is just out there. If you are [gay or lesbian] it is something you are extremely conscious about,” Berquam said.

When someone comes out, it should be received similarly to someone announcing their pregnancy, said Petrow said.

If a friend comes out to you, give them a hug, Petrow said. Thank them for sharing it with you, and ask how private they wish you to keep their disclosure.

Coming out is different for everyone. Petrow said he knew of a little girl who had confidently declared at their dinner table she was a lesbian, as well as middle aged men with families who came out to their children and spouse.

Choosing to reveal one’s sexual identity is not a once in a lifetime matter. People who identify as LGBT must choose whether or not to reveal their sexual orientation to new friends, employers and colleagues.

“[Coming out] is an ongoing process; it almost never ends,” Petrow said.

Equality and inclusiveness on campus

While the current climate for LGBT students and people both on campus and in Wisconsin is nonideal, great progress has been made for equality.

University Health Services provides some essential medical care for students who are going through a gender change, although the Student Health Insurance Plan does not cover surgery, said Dr. Sarah Van Orman, director of UHS.

The LGBTCC’s Stop the Silence anti-bullying campaign has aimed to eliminate bullying at the university level, but the School of Education is looking to increase tolerance at an early age by having its students, who will go on to be teachers, read a book about sexuality and bullying called Freakshow by James St. James.

“We operate from a heterosexual, heterosexist norm. That is the master narrative. It is not that that is wrong, it is, how do you broaden that”? Berquam said.