To an impartial observer, passing the budget can look like a real boring affair. Anyone who really cared about watching old men holler would gladly drive out to a Bingo Hall or Cruisin’ Chubby’s before they settled on watching legislative action from the Senate or Assembly galleries. But once the dust and spittle clears and the numbers are added, a quick look at a budget serves as a doctor’s check-up on just how backward a state really is. No, not backward in terms of freedom-hating liberals or Darwin-fearing evangelists, but commonsense backwardness. This won’t win a Pulitzer, but hopefully, it’ll be fun.

For instance, while people have long mused how odd it is than many state Legislatures control their own pay, the Wisconsin Senate made the move to cut funds from those who keep our congressmen in check. The Government Accountability Board, whose job is to act as a watchdog against unethical and corrupt behavior in Wisconsin politics, used to operate on a blank check. But in the Senate’s budget, once the board spends its allocated $31,000 on investigating the Legislature, it needs to have any additional funding approved. By the Legislature. This is genius, but it’s also something the Government Accountability Board should look in to. That is, if they can afford it.

Another interesting addendum to this year’s Senate budget is a piece requiring car insurance for all car owners. I had no idea this wasn’t already a law, and I can’t believe the state didn’t think of this sooner. [Currently, only Wisconsin and New Hampshire do not mandate car insurance — Ed.]?Wisconsin has serious issues when it comes to what you can and cannot do in a car. Drink? No, you can’t, but we’re really not going to do much the first few times. Drive without insurance? Yes, for now, but go out and hit somebody quick before the budget is passed and you have to find the Progressive insurance aisle. From now on, it’s probably best to assume that your car is a little like international waters, and as long as that chimp doesn’t die, you’re cool – unless you’re going six over across 94. Then you’re just screwed.

Sometimes it’s not about what you put in a budget, but what you leave out. Unlike the Assembly and Doyle, the Senate did not propose anything allowing illegal immigrants in Wisconsin to apply for in-state tuition at our state universities. This is where the immigration issue goes from “sensible” to “Lou Dobbs may be on to something.” As a country, we can’t build a big enough wall or buy enough ATVs with USA paint jobs to adequately patrol the border. We need to realize that illegal immigrants are a part of modern America, and even more, that they aren’t bad people. But they don’t qualify for in-state tuition. It is very tricky to be a legal Wisconsinite without even technically being allowed in this country. Besides, we all know they’ll take Spanish classes just to make the rest of us look bad.

This is where we take the body of the article and come to a cohesive point of closure, but it’s not going to happen here today. What do you say? “Ain’t that goofy?” On the bright side, Wisconsin appears well on its way to passing the budget. But maybe we’re giving them too much credit. It’s like those bad Sprint commercials where construction workers and movie people show you how easy everyday life is as long as you have a walkie-talkie built into your phone.

Then again, it’s easy to criticize the off-the-wall crazy proposals. There aren’t too many people willing to defend the merits of uninsured drivers. For now, it’s funny. But the effect of this budget extends far beyond illegal comm. arts majors, and with impending cuts to university staff and, once again, a serious lack of support to help keep tuition in check, paying attention to the budget, and paying attention to the people who write it, is extremely important.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an El Camino than needs insuring.??

Sean Kittridge?([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism.?