This Saturday, Gov. Scott Walker signed into place a measure allowing for the concealed carry of switchblades. Those who have a concealed carry gun license would automatically be allowed to hoist concealed carry switchblades — even on college campuses.
Ending a decades old ban on switchblades is what Walker’s signage of this bill means, but it could have disastrous consequences for everyday Wisconsinites.
Now, the signage runs counter to the lessons taught in the poignant social critique, “West Side Story.” This film told, for the unaware reader, the story of two competing gangs, the Jets and the Sharks, which battled each other with soaring kicks and pirouettes — until the introduction of the switchblade.
Blades were traditionally off-limits for these two competing entities, both of which were fighting for control of a popular playground. One of the ending scenes shows a lead character, Riff, being stabbed to death by one of these switchblades. It is meant to illustrate the destructive capabilities switchblades have.
An unintended consequence of this piece of legislation is the reintroduction of switchblade gangs. After the chilling “West Side Story,” switchblade gangs died out, probably because of explicit bans on the commerce of switchblades. I would assume with the reintroduction of concealed switchblades that gangs will return because of the beloved switchblade.
No discernible data is available to prove this assumption, but many share my sentiment, especially this letter to the editor of the Post Crescent. But there are many inherent advantages to a blade that don’t require data. For instance, it is lightweight and easy to conceal. One has to be in very close proximity to stab someone. That is definitely better for murderers because the victim’s blood will drip all over the blade, hands and clothes of the murderer.
Don’t fall for the lucrative idea that switchblades are harmless. Remember Riff and don’t buy a blade.
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
**This is satire.**
Aaron Reilly ([email protected]) is a freshman majoring in comparative literature and Russian.
