Was the partying worth it? I really hope so, because for the last week and a half I’ve been in isolation after the the higher-ups decided to quarantine all of Witte. Sure, maybe this is my punishment for choosing to live here (yes, choosing, okay?) but I had hoped that most people would be compassionate humans before going out to play beer pong with a random assortment of athletic scholarship recipients, greasy frat boys and soon-to-be-dropouts clothed in basketball shorts and dirty white t-shirts.

My roommate moved out as soon as the lockdown was announced and I can physically feel my mental health deteriorate. I have no one to talk to, so it’s just you. And me. For the whole day! Come along!

9 a.m. – 12 p.m.

My day starts out pretty normally, my alarm clock rings, I turn it off and I lay in bed for a solid 30 minutes. At this point, being far too drained to get up, I lay back down to stare at the ceiling as my mind goes blank. Honestly, it’s not the worst, it’s a very good way to be alone with my thoughts for a good amount of time. Like… why do sporks exist?

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12 p.m. – 1 p.m.

After an overwhelmingly unproductive morning, it’s lunch time. This is a very important part of my day. It’s the only time I get to have any sort of social interaction and I’m REALLY hungry because I always wake up too late for breakfast. This is the time of day when I can make rather quick awkward eye contact with people and start conversation about the (somehow) industrial looking food. If I’m being honest, the desperation really shows here. The other day I tried to bump into someone so I could say “sorry” and morph it into some sort of conversation.

1 p.m. – 3:30 p.m.

I get back to my room around one and finish my meal a half hour later I’m a slow eater, k? Once my meal is concluded, to mix it up a bit, instead of lying on my bed to stare at my ceiling, I sit on my bed and stare at my wall. In this crazy world, it’s nice to just take time during the day to sit in silence and entertain all of the random thoughts and voices that come into my head.

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3:30 p.m. – 5:30 p.m.

​After missing all of my afternoon discussions, I finally take my focus away from my personal activities and turn to my studies. Kind of. The work flow can be rough. Honestly it usually involves going on my phone, but hey, don’t judge! Everyone knows that school isn’t even real right now. You know? How can ANY of us think that school is real now? Have you met any of your professors? I didn’t think so. I rest my case.

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5:30 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.

Around this time of the day I usually like to do some exercises. But not physical ones social ones. Over the past few months, social interaction has been hard to come by, and this was exacerbated when my roommate left. Knowing that I’ll eventually (hopefully) need these skills back one day, I try my best to squeeze some in-person conversations into my daily routine.

At first I tried to go to the bathroom to meet people. Listen, at the time this seemed like a good idea, everyone uses the bathroom at some point of the day. But, I had to stop doing this after I tried to start a conversation with someone at the urinal by complimenting his penis size to be fair it was WELL above average. Ever since then I’ve just been hanging out in the hallways. Needless to say this hasn’t been overly successful, but hey, at least it’s something.

6:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.

​I got written up for my behavior when getting dinner one time, I don’t really want to talk about it. Let’s move on.

7:30 p.m. – 10 p.m.

​After dinner, I make sure to get absolutely wasted. Yes, of course this is part of my daily routine. As the saying goes “college is a movie.” A sad, lonely movie, but a movie nonetheless. Think more “127 Hours” or “Life of Pi” and less “Neighbors” or “Any Film with Young Adults having Fun.”

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10 p.m. – 11 p.m.

After stumbling around to find my towel and soap, I hit the showers. This shower is very important for my mental health. You see, being wasted gets rid of the embarrassment that would come along with crying loudly in public. Listen fellas, I get it, it is not fun to have other people see you cry, but sometimes you just have to get it out of your system. It’s healthy and helpful. So when I’m in the shower, I can get the impurities out of my skin with exfoliating cream and the emotions out of my heart by just letting loose.

12 a.m.

​Feeling refreshed (in multiple ways), I turn off my lights and hit the hay. Five days left. Five. Days.

Thus concludes my daily routine. Not exactly the what you see from those fake, overly happy influencers on YouTube and Instagram who eat avocado toast and rolled ice cream, but I bet this is the realest routine you’ve ever read. Again, by the time this is published, I will be free and able to see my friends, but until then, stay safe Madison, or else we will ALL be living like this for the foreseeable future.