Stuck indoors, little human contact, no work or online school — what sounds like a paradise has quickly turned into a nightmare.

It’s fair to say that as much as Monday morning 8:50’s and 6 p.m. discussions suck, a collegiate structure is something I miss very dearly. Oh, and human interaction… and Mirch Masala. 

Luckily for you, beloved reader and tame social distancer, I’ve logged my first twelve, very relatable days in quarantine. You may just be bored enough to read at least a third of it. Let’s jump in.

Quarantine Day 1– Today my family drove me home from Madison. I packed approximately four of my favorite shirts, bottoms and a fun cheetah print jacket in case I want to spice it up at home. #Essentials! Honestly, it might be refreshing to go home for a few weeks.  

My day in self-isolation during COVID-19 pandemic8:45 A.M. — My morning alarm goes off, meaning I am just 45 minutes away from my 9:30 journalism class. Read…

Day 2 – Everyone’s complaining, but quarantine isn’t any different than my past spring break experiences — eating several unsatisfying snacks in place of meals, fighting relentlessly with every member of my family, staying in bed for 75% of the day… yep, those all check out.

People are being dramatically bored, but I’m living, laughing and loving everything for the time being!

Day 3 – Upon reading Becky Blank’s heart-wrenching email regarding the cancellation of the semester, I slept. Intermittently. All day. Instead of letting my family console me, I thought about all of the “lasts” of my sophomore year spring semester.

I didn’t know it was the last time I would refuse to eat any of Strada’s pizza crust, the last time I would gasp for air walking up Park Street (it’s on a slope, I swear) and the last time I would see someone from an old class, not know our friendship status, look at them anyway, see that they’re not looking at me and end up just completely ignoring them.

Day 4 – This morning I realized the soonest I’ll return to Madison is May. Funny how I left all of the basic essentials in my apartment and will now have to live off Solo/Ensemble shirts from middle school and tacky cheetah print.

Gen Z experiences TikTok takeoverTikTok is taking Gen Z by storm. Reminiscent of Vine, TikTok has flooded the social media feeds of youth around Read…

I brought absolutely none of my school materials home and I left a freshly opened box of cheez-its in the pantry. Those will be absolutely stale by May… 

Day 5 – This fine sunny morning I woke up, made myself breakfast and got ready. To my shock, it was all a mirage, it was actually 2 p.m., and I had neither eaten nor done anything all day. Devastating.

I tried to get out of my depressive slump by reading a book. Ten pages in and… I should be given a damn Nobel Peace Prize. My mind feels invincible. I’m never using my phone again. I’m better than my peers and suddenly want to start four new creative projects. 

Twelve pages in and I remember I’m a slow reader and don’t have an attention span. I’ll return to that in maybe a week. 

Day 6 – Today, I reconnected with my ex-boyfriend. After blocking him on every platform imaginable, he has slid into my TikTok DM’s. Honestly, I can’t be mad at the crafty bastard. Besides that sad encounter, I do count my blessings. My Outlook inbox has been popping. Dry phone? Don’t know her.

‘Ok Boomer’ presents perfect way to slam dunk on WWII spawn over holiday sznIt’s just in time for the holidays, as if you thought New Zealand couldn’t be more cool, lawmaker Chlöe Swarbrick Read…

Day 7 – My boredom reached a peak. I agreed to write a piece for The Badger Herald.  

Day 8 – First day of online classes. Instead of opening Canvas, I learned three TikTok dances. I, a starving artist, put all comedic efforts into my posts and received a maximum of four likes?

The app is rigged. It made me cry. Then it made me scroll the For You Page for two hours. On another note — how is my FOMO raging? Stop showing off your comfy living rooms while I’m busy going stir crazy!!!!

Day 9 – Against everything in me, I logged onto Canvas this morning. After texting the members of my group project, I really pondered their intelligence for a bit. Usually, I think I’m the dumb one, but the festering incompetency of group projects gives me much less hope for humanity. We’re never escaping quarantine.

At 11 p.m. I see I have an overdue assignment that was due yesterday. Oops. 

“I Can’t Draw” with Lynda Barry  Can you draw? Or are you someone who avoids Pictionary at all costs? Have your drawings been ridiculed? Don’t Read…

Day 10 – Most of the internships I applied for have emailed me that they’re canceling their summer opportunities. To my disappointment, I won’t get the professional experience that could really benefit my growing skill set. 

To my delight, I knew I wasn’t getting any of them anyway, and now I have a pandemic to blame it on. Score!

Day 11 – People are posting some questionable content on Instagram. I realize everyone’s bored, but I didn’t think it would take a pandemic to revert back to 2013 Instagram. Challenges are fun and all, but until multiple people tag me so that I look popular, I’m NOT PARTICIPATING!!!

Day 12 –  I was really productive today. I looked up all of my TA’s on Facebook, which was hilarious. What was Sarah thinking?

Quarantimes — How to stay fit during COVID-19 outbreakWith all the craziness of the outbreak, our normal ways of staying fit are dwindling. Gyms are closing, state ordinances Read…

Lol. I was tempted to command F my class crush in discussion, but I then realized I don’t know his name. Writing this makes me want to go through the 48-person discussion to find his identity.

Listen, this ish is all pretty scary. But being hopeful is a state of mind — a state of mind I am not in. But still. Anyway, maybe write a diary entry or do a puzzle and give up. Godspeed, Badgers.