Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald


Spooky Story Corner: The menacing gargle

Part 2 of the 2019 serial
Spooky Story Corner: The menacing gargle
Silvio Messina

When we last left off Spooky Story Corner, a spooky scary skeleton pulled Tommy Turnwell into another dimension with his bicycle, ignoring all of the crosswalk lights. After confronting Tommy, the skeleton revealed he was also a Tommy, and that Tommy the human killed his wife with his AirPods. A gasp resounded in the corner when this happened. What could that gasp be? All will be revealed.

Tommy, in perilous straits, turned to see what made the gasp. Odd, it looked inhuman, maybe like a cat? A dog? He expected to know all animals after thorough teaching in the first grade, but right now, Tommy was stuck.

“Excuse me,” the animal thing said.


A large plot of light swept across the figure’s form. It looked fluffy, too fluffy even, but it was definitely animate. Glasses framed the figure’s face with impeccable style. His sweater bore iconic red and white stripes. Could it be?

“Bucky is, is that you?” Tommy queried.

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“Yes Tommy, in my University Book Store nerdy Bucky stuffed animal form,” Bucky said. “I am trapped in this pinnacle of nerdiness here in this realm because I too played ‘Spooky Scary Skeletons’ on my AirPods. It was a nice cool-down song after I did 194 push-ups on Saturday. After I left the field, though, a rogue tuba sucked me down his hole. It was a skeleton in disguise!”

Tommy heard these words and felt implications beyond just mere empathy for dear old Bucky.

“Bucky, how can the school live without you?” he asked. “There are so many students who need you to look out for them and to brighten their spirits. You’re our school’s guardian badger.”

Spooky Story Corner part one: The ghost of midterms past

“Tommy, now is not the time for questions,” Bucky said. “We must sit here and accept our fate. We are spooky scary skeletons of ourselves now.”

Tommy looked down — his appearance had changed. No more bro tank lined his body, but instead an oversized parka drowned his frame. His once swaggy shoes now became chunky Filas, a cause against which he used to be passionate in protesting. He felt his hair in horror, it was no longer the same generic cut everyone had. A sense of panic arose within him.

“EEuueRgHAh!” Tommy shrieked.

Bucky sighed and cried at the expression, his tears dripping onto his cute little sweater.

A couple of skeletons heard Tommy’s cackle and swiftly approached the scene, ready to remedy the situation.

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“What’s wrong, Tommy boy?” Skelly Skeleton asked. “Your tongue didn’t turn so well?”

“Maybe he’s just a scared pansy,” Scooter Skeleton suggested.

“Why do you use the word pansy?” Skelly asked. “Were you born in like 1817?”

“Uhm yeah, that’s around when I died too,” Scooter said.

“Oh, true true, makes sense,” Skelly said.

Bucky and Tommy just looked in awe in this moment. They didn’t really know what to do. In their minds, there was no way out — they had to listen to these skeletons banter on for eternity.

Course planning eliminates time to go to courses

“Bucky, what will we do?” Tommy said. “I absolutely need to go back on campus. It’s trivia night and my team needs me. I’m the only one who remembers Massachusetts is a commonwealth.”

Slouching, Bucky looked defeated, but suddenly a spark jolted through his system.

“Don’t worry Tommy,” Bucky said. “I have an idea.”

Will Bucky’s idea really be swell? How many people listen to “Spooky Scary Skeletons” on their AirPods? Does anyone still use the word “pansy” in 2019 besides the spawn of Draco Malfoy? Turn the page to Spooky Story Corner next time to potentially have all of your questions answered.

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