There’s nothing more frustrating than wasted potential. There are plenty of mediocre acts out there in the music scene; plenty of crappy, single driven derivates content to take their cut of album royalties and make money opening for Ludacris or Nickelback. So when something new comes around — a sound that’s said to be truly different than what’s already been done — it’s tempting to jump on the bandwagon before you’ve heard the band.
Xiu Xiu’s music is one of a kind. Witness, for instance, the instrumentation listed on their liner notes. Aside from the standard synth and guitars, various tracks feature mandolin, track whistles, birdcalls, harmonium, gongs, desk bell, hand claps, tenor recorder and Game Boy, not to mention a range of obsolete ’80s keyboards. But such a unique approach to song making comes with the implicit responsibility to avoid relying on gimmicks and sound-shock, and to instead draw an innovative but still listenable sound from the unorthodox orchestra. In their latest album, Xiu Xiu comes incredibly close to pulling this off.
As a study in self-loathing, Dear God, I Hate Myself is a tour de force. In a lyrical performance every bit as pessimistic and dreary as the title suggests, Xiu Xiu’s lead singer and songwriter Jamie Stewart drinks from the well of depression until it’s dry, then quickly replenishes it with his own bitter tears.
Themes of unkept promises, loneliness and dissatisfaction with social norms reign throughout the 14-track (12 plus two bonus tracks) album. The opening lines of “Hyunhye’s Theme” capture the prevailing mood perfectly: “Reading law at your desk/ Praying for your parents/ They are so proud of this/ You are working so hard/ All alone at your desk.”
Two songs on the album showcase Xiu Xiu’s full capabilities, combining the strange, dissonant instrumentation with a haunting anger resonating through Stewart’s throaty rasp. One, “Chocolate Makes You Happy,” describes the guilt imminent in day-to-day pleasures. To an ironically cheerful tune, Stewart sings, “Chocolate makes you happy/ As you deign to sing along/ When you thrust fingers/ Down your throat and/ Wash away what’s wrong.” The other, “Dear God, I Hate Myself,” is just as powerful, repeating the album’s title as a chorus, adding “And I will never be happy/ And I will never feel normal” to the refrain.
But the transition from that song to the next, “Secret Motel,” is like jumping from the reflective musings of a Shel Silverstein poem to a chaotic poetry slam entry read by a bi-polar mescaline burnout mumbling through headgear. And it only gets more abstract from there. Aside from a quirky cover of the 1860’s folk song “Cumberland Gap,” and a truly excellent Game Boy solo on the bonus track “The Ropes Are Pulled Back Tight,” Xiu Xiu’s remaining tracks range from unimpressive to unintelligible.
And it’s a shame. But there’s just no use reading any meaning into the lines “An apple for a brain/ A bee for a best man/ A panda is yourself/ And you holding butter’s hand,” even when they’re recorded over Moog, Optigan and Chamberlin keyboards.
Despite a defiantly distinctive sound and two tantalizingly brilliant tracks, Xiu Xiu’s Dear God, I Hate Myself falls one painful inch short of fulfilling its potential as anything but squarely average noise.
3 stars out of 5.
