It's that time: the final(ish) round of the Battle of the Networks. Today, The Badger Herald will not be covering a single network, but rather a smattering of both virgin and well-aged shows, hailing from various cable stations to fight for the top ranks. Sorry, we won't be covering Comedy Central's dreadful "Mind of Mencia" or MTV's bratty teen comedy "My Super Sweet 16." No, we didn't think that would bother anyone. The Herald will, however, delightfully indulge in the vulgar, sex-filled, violent — but often still more intelligent — world that cable provides. So read on for our take on the new season of cable's best and worst, wildly ranging from the outrageous, but timeless, banter of "South Park" to the shoddy new relationship drama, "Tell Me You Love Me." And check back next week for the results, and follow-ups for the shows that didn't make it in. (We know you all want the dirt on "Caveman.") — Ashley Jacobs “Dexter” Showtime Sundays, 8 p.m. If the end does truly justify the means, Dexter Morgan is a superhero, and everyone should take a page from "The Prince" and the writers of Showtime's returning serial killer drama. Season 1 of "Dexter" introduced us to the compassionate sociopath within Mr. Morgan, played by the perfect(ly creepy) Michael C. Hall ("Six Feet Under"). He kills murderers who have beaten the legal system. Dexter trails the "Ice Truck Killer," whom Dexter's would-be homicide detective sister was engaged to. And the ITK is Dex's estranged brother — whom he kills at the season's end. So, where are we now? Season 2 begins one month after Dexter's fratricide, and he is on edge from having not killed in that span. His problem is the ever-present watchdog boss, Sgt. James Doakes (Erik King, "Ice Princess"), who follows Dexter's every move in hopes of catching him in the act — in the act of what, Doakes is unsure. Season 2 sees a change for just about every major character in the show. Dexter loses his self-assuredness, a nice change from the frequent monochromatic monologues of Season 1. Sgt. Doakes becomes obsessed with Dexter's personal life, making him slightly more irritating. Finally, Dexter's foul-mouthed sister, Debbie (Jennifer Carpenter, "Battle in Seattle"), now lives with him, making for an interesting battle of the sexes. However, it is Debbie's return to the police force after almost being murdered by her ex-fiancé that makes her characater: Her concrete exoskeleton has been shattered, revealing depth lacking in her brainless persona during the first season. As for the episode's story, well, the writers seemingly left it in the background in order to focus on Dexter's new lack of bloodshed. That said, pay attention, as there is a well-placed cliffhanger in the last minute. If this season does not meander in the middle like Season 1 did, Showtime will have a sure-fire hit on their hands. "Tonight's the night," indeed. — Steve Lampiris “Tell Me You Love Me” HBO Sundays, 8.p.m. The first word that comes to mind after watching "Tell Me You Love Me" is, "annoying." While HBO continues a run of great television shows, "Tell Me You Love Me," now four episodes into its first season, does not add to this streak. The show follows three fictional couples in their 20s, 30s and 40s as they move through their numerous relationship problems. While the issues of commitment, infertility and intimacy are situations that real-life couples face every day, there does not seem to be any glimmer of hope that at least one of the couples will get through them –making for some unbearably depressing television. Smaller problems also continue to layer on top of the bigger ones so that nothing gets resolved and the couples grow distant — it's extremely easy to get irritated as a viewer. After continued bickering, each couple eventually visits therapist Dr. May Foster, exceptionally played by Academy Award nominee Jane Alexander. Sex is definitely one of the main themes of the show, and its borderline pornographic sex scenes are raunchy — even for HBO. Explicitly graphic depictions of oral sex and masturbation have gathered up their fair share of controversy in the media, but these scenes are not on the show to arouse its viewers. Jamie (Michelle Borth) uses sex to hide her vulnerability, Carolyn (Sonya Walger) and Palek (Adam Scott) are trying to get pregnant, and David (Tim Dekay) and Katie (Ally Walker) flat-out don't have sex — three less attractive, but very real facets of a relationship. While the problems faced on "Tell Me You Love Me" give couples dealing with the same issues in real life something to relate to, they are in the minority. The portrayal of each couples' issues seems too immediate for most, and it is hard to lose the nagging sensation that you are a voyeur, prying into someone else's life uninvited and without gain or insight. — Taylor Paul “South Park” Comedy Central Wednesdays, 9 p.m. Did you know that Tourette's Syndrome is in fact not contagious? Did you know that it could get you a golden ticket to an appearance on "Dateline" and a chance to yell anti-Semitic obscenities on national television in the name of bravery? If you didn't know these things, then you should be watching more "South Park." Wednesday night aired the beginning of the 11th season of the much-loved series, and, if the season premiere is any clue, it promises to be just as offensive, outrageous and yet perversely intelligent and hilarious as ever. This time around, Eric Cartman realizes that feigning Tourette's Syndrome will give him the perfect excuse to, as he himself puts it, "blast the Jews" on national television, which will make people think he is brave instead of bigoted. His only challenge is to convince South Park of his new found infirmity and his master plan will be in motion. Countless bouts of shouting obscenities later, Cartman discovers that yelling things like "Ass! Ass!" in public has eliminated his ability to filter thoughts. This leads to, among other things, a few embarrassing public admissions, ranging from bedwetting and incest to a mass suicide on the set of "Dateline." This episode is a must-see if you want to hear more swearing in 30 minutes than you have ever heard before in your entire life. Consistent with their work, "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone manage to combine sharp, witty humor with unrefined profanity and vulgarity. Hidden beneath a seemingly uncouth and downright stupid cartoon is enough irony to make anyone with even the most remote sense of sarcasm smile. Cartman becomes some sort of tragic hero, ultimately turning in desperation to God to cure him of his facade-turned-affliction. Meanwhile, Kyle's attempt to uncover the terrible bigot that he is leads only to Cartman's salvation from national embarrassment. "South Park" in Season 11 appears to be as stupid and as smart as ever, and even God probably has no clue what Trey and Matt have in store next. — Will Glassman “The Sarah Silverman Program Comedy Central Wednesdays, 9:30 p.m. People either want her to mother their children or cut her break lines. Yet, love her or hate her, Sarah Silverman and her wildly infamous television show, "The Sarah Silverman Program" has returned for a second completely outrageous season of subtle political commentary and completely unsubtle off-color humor. Ever the furnace for controversy, the frisky Ms. Silverman, who plays a fictionalized version of herself, begins her second season with the very casual, very ABC Family topic of abortion. Of course, like in her reference to Britney Spears and her two children, Silverman handles the topic with the utmost tact and care. Sarcastic and cheesy one-liners ensue. The plot revolves around Silverman's admission that, not only is she "addicted to Carol's lemon bars," but she also has a soft spot in her heart for abortions — getting them, that is. By the dozens. After mistakenly joining ranks with "Operation Baby Justice," a group of abortion clinic terrorists, Silverman is faced with a dilemma: She must either watch as the beloved home of her three past abortions is blown up or become one of the hated baby killers. Needless to say, a montage of past abortions, accompanied by Green Day's "Good Riddance," was enough to convince Silverman that she must thwart the Bible-terrorists' "evil" plan. With the enlisted help of "Dungeons and Dragons" warriors, Silverman saves the clinic and, well, her sister is safe too, I guess. Tactless, sure, but it's this ballsy humor that has made "The Sarah Silverman Program" so wildly successful and so highly lauded by critics. Her humor is politically incorrect and offensive in every way, but Silverman isn't afraid to challenge modern perceptions of right and wrong, and it's refreshing in comparison to stale television comedies like "Mind of Mencia." In addition to the comedy, Silverman's television show also comes with a lesson. This time, it's not to get abortions. It is — and I quote — that whenever anything is stuck inside you, "getting it out is always less fun than getting it in." — Sarah Probst “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” FX Thursdays, 9 p.m. After the heartbreaking loss of "Arrested Development," fans of alternative television comedy may finally have something to rejoice about: FX's "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." Three weeks into its third season, the incomparably low-budget romp is quite at home on FX, and similar to its distant cousin "South Park," nothing is sacred. Much of the show revolves around Paddy's Pub, a hole-in-the-wall bar owned and poorly operated by four immoral and inept friends known as "the Gang" and a father figure (played by comedy-staple Danny DeVito), who magnifies and encourages their bad decisions. These bad decisions provide the charm of the show and make such normally despicable people uncharacteristically likable. Not only approaching the edge of good taste, but often crossing it, "Philadelphia" embraces political, social and ethnic controversy, providing fuel for the characters' conversations and shocking actions. However, like Comedy Central's "South Park" and other assorted FX counterparts, the sometimes uncomfortable content is taken just as lightly as every other subject, not only saving the show from becoming intolerable but also causing it to be one of the funniest and most culturally relevant shows on television. The third seasons' episodes so far have been no different. "The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby" started off the season in a despicably entertaining fashion. Dennis is temporarily transformed by "An Inconvenient Truth" and ends up sleeping with a valiant environmentalist's girlfriend for revenge, Charlie becomes a hobo in his attempts to recycle and salvage the trash of others, and Mac and Dee find a baby in a dumpster and seek to darken its complexion (yes, they take a baby to a tanning salon) in order to enter the "Latino baby actor" market. Equally politically incorrect was the hysterical "The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation." Like many "Philadelphia" episodes, the title says it all. The irreverent plots of "Philadelphia" are so hysterical, their tear-inducing execution justifies the lack of taste. The charisma between the show's largely unknown characters makes their interactions and dialogue laugh-out-loud funny, and the storylines and script are a refreshing highlight of cable programming. If you like your comedies witty, dark and edgy, look no further than bright newcomer "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." — Micheal Merline