“Debbie Does Dallas,” “Ron Jeremy and The Temple of Poon,” “Barely Legal”: all titles you would expect to find scrawled in magic marker on a collection of videotapes stashed under your little brother’s bed.

It’s a well-known fact that most males watch porn at some point in their adolescence, whether they steal it from their dad’s sock drawer, older brother’s closet or uncle’s basement. But a group of teenage girls raiding their mom’s underwear drawer for the “her” copy of “Cum Home David?” Unheard of.

For all the guys out there reading this and thinking, “No way,” allow me to let you in on a little secret — many girls enjoy porn just as much as you do. Yes, it’s true; more and more females are tuning in and getting turned on by porn every day.

In a world where an estimated third of women still cannot orgasm from sexual intercourse alone, porn offers an opportunity to stimulate, and perhaps to emulate some of the things we see in our favorite videos.

Then why, 30 years after the feminist revolution, is it still so clandestine for females to enjoy watching porn? It’s no secret that males enjoy watching it and often do so quite frequently; but until recently, it was highly uncommon for a woman to invite her friends over, open a bottle of wine and pop in a copy of “Hung Like a Horse.”

First of all, a distinction should be made between the porn females enjoy watching and the porn males get off on. While browsing the many sites now available on the Web for women who like porn, I noticed that most “porn for women” features couples engaging in romantic fantasies where the man and woman are equals, rather than the often chauvinistic and sexist way in which women are treated in mainstream porn — usually depicted as a set of three holes to screw.

This sexual equality is a perfect example of what women are looking for in porn. While they still want hardcore sex images and have shown themselves to be just as satisfied ogling nude men at any opportunity, they also want to see some kind of emotional contact between people while they make love. Whether it be eye contact, kissing or laughter, women strongly support couples’ photos and videos that have some kind of emotional context.

In fact, an MSNBC study in 2000 reported that men prefer purely visual erotica twice as much as women. In this context, it is easy to see where the old adage, “boys have a penis, girls have a brain” comes into play.

The fact is that many men are content with images of extreme close-ups of a man and a woman having sex, and do not necessarily need the lengthy dialogue and character development that women tend to prefer. As long as there’s a penis slamming into a vagina, most males are going to get aroused.

Now I am not trying to say that all males do not appreciate the benefit of sturdy plot lines in a porn, but the fact of the matter is if you ask almost any male whether he would rather see a man and woman catch each other’s eyes on the subway, get off at the same stop and eventually wind up at one of their apartments in a tangle of sheets and roses, or just get straight to the humping, what do you think the answer’s going to be?

This is why more and more women are turning towards pornography created for women by women. Most of these female directors began their careers in front of the camera, making it easy for them to identify what was missing from most X-rated films: intimacy, romance, attention to women’s pleasure and compelling plots.

Candida Royalle, a female porn-star-turned-director, has perfected the art of combining knock-your-socks-off sex with tender, intimate emotions. Her collection of porn for women has the carnal lust mixed with romance that females crave, and with discreet titles such as “Eyes of Desire,” “Rites of Passion” and “One Size Fits All,” what more could the ladies want?

Many feminists who were once strictly against porn in any form are now realizing the benefit of this erotica-based genre. In an interview, retired porn star Annie Sprinkle responded to the question of whether she was a feminist or pornographer by saying, “I am a feminist, and I make feminist pornography now. My work is geared to women. I wasn’t a feminist when I got into porn. And in fact, I learned a lot from the anti-porn feminists” (www.pornforwomen.com).

In the current climate of conservatism and censorship, porn for women is also an example of why we should maintain free speech. Anti-porn crusaders — and some extreme feminists such as Andrea Dworkin — insist that all porn must be banned because it is degrading to women.

While some porn may fit this bill, it’s difficult to argue that women’s erotica does. In fact, it does quite the opposite, empowering women to explore their sexuality and creating a more level playing field. Men take for granted that they can look at women — now women are allowed to look back.

So ladies, I encourage you to relish in your hidden interest in porn. And men, next time you sit down to watch “Nympho Mania” with the boys, consider inviting your lady to come over and join in. Just don’t forget to slap some latex on that magic wand.

Did you lose your virginity in a weird place or situation? Or did you plan out the entire thing with candles, roses and condoms? Please write me and tell me your stories of deflowerment; all identities will be kept secret. Email me at [email protected].