Wee Man finds true love on MTV! Women wins husband with $50 entrée! Couple finds wedded bliss while locked in a house together!

No, you have not confused today’s paper with an issue of The National Enquirer; these are just the ridiculous premises for some of television’s latest forays into the world of dating on-air.

What started out in the 1960s as a cheesy, albeit cute, search for true love on “The Dating Game” has now evolved, or rather devolved, into a live version of your worst dating nightmare. To understand the onslaught of reality-based dating shows infecting our nation’s television today, we must first remember where it all began.

“The Dating Game” debuted in 1965 and was hosted by Jim Lange for its entire 20-year run. The premise was simple: Take a single person, hide him or her from three eligible singles and ask questions. No hot tubs, binge-drinking or bitch-slaps necessary.

The contestant would then pick one of the singles, without seeing them, and go on a date. Therefore, the decision was based on the answers to the questions, not the looks of the eligible singles. The show was immensely popular and even featured some famous celebrities of the time, including Sally Field, Tom Selleck, Richard Dawson and Burt Reynolds.

Then, in the 1980s, Chuck Woolery hosted “Love Connection,” a show that was very similar to “The Dating Game.” In this show, the audience selected one of three people for the contestant to go out with. The viewers then heard all the dirty details and found out the results of the dates they had chosen.

When the networks began to realize how popular these dating shows really were, a fresh crop of “match-made-in-hell” shows was produced, and such cult favorites as “Studs,” “The New Dating Game” and “Singled Out” were born. This was followed by a brief exile to the inky abyss of late-night television, but dating shows soon resurfaced.

Now it seems the reality-dating phenomenon is inescapable. Producers trying to capitalize on exhibitionist frat boys and hoochie mamas have flooded the market.

If you’re looking for a date, try “Elimidate,” “Fifth Wheel” or “Dismissed,” where you’re given choices of potential bedfellows. Tired of your lover? Take ’em on “Change of Heart” and give someone else a whirl, then come back and brag about it for America to see.

You can even drag a camera crew with you on a first date with “Blind Date” or “Rendez-View” and allow others to provide commentary for you. The possibilities are endless in the world of network television.

Is it any surprise then that there are more and more of these shows popping up every day? For most of you, probably not, but for those who have just returned from a 10-year sabbatical in Antarctica, fear not — the networks have baked up some real doozies for the upcoming year.

Fans who just cannot get enough of watching first dates between regular folks crash and burn can now take their addiction one step further with E!’s “Star Dates.” The show, which airs Sunday nights on E!, takes second-rate actors who have disappeared from the entertainment radar and sends them on dates with ordinary people.

The show attempts to further satiate the world of televised reality-dating while answering vital questions such as, “What ever happened to Gary Coleman?” and “Will Screech ever find true love?”

Boasting a current roster of such critically acclaimed actors as Jill Whelan, Phyllis Diller, Butch Patrick, Dustin Diamond and, yes, even Gary Coleman, “Star Dates” still manages to bore viewers due to its lack of lust, scandal and sleaze.

For viewers with a more culinary mindset, The Food Network is debuting “Date Plate” this spring. Created by the folks who make TLC’s “Trading Spaces,” “Date Plate” is based on the old saying that the best way to a man (or woman’s) heart is through the stomach.

In each show, two single people will be given $50 to create a dinner that will impress a blind date. The catch is that daters will choose their companion based solely on the menu the other person has prepared, so they won’t actually meet until it’s time to eat. Although slightly more interesting, in theory, than other dating shows, it will be tough to compete with the humiliation and degradation of “Blind Date.”

Simon Cowell, of “American Idol” fame, has also decided to cash in on the dating-show frenzy. Cowell has inked a deal with CBS to create and produce a dating show titled “Cupid.” The show, set to air over 11 hour-long episodes this summer, will follow a single woman and her two best friends as they travel all over the country and judge a range of men.

Ten finalists will then be chosen and flown to Hollywood, where they will be given the chance to date the single girl, with audiences deciding each week who gets eliminated. Cowell has been quoted on www.newswatchUK.com as saying, “After ‘Sex and the City,’ women all over the world have been empowered to belittle men. And because I love humiliation so much, I thought we had to make this into a TV show.” Should be charming.

Even NBC is getting a piece of the action with its soon-to-be-released “Love Shack.” A man and a woman, between the ages of 25 and 35, will move into a California mansion. Immediately, they each meet two members of the opposite sex, and these two members of the opposite sex will move into the mansion as well.

For the next four days, the two trios will live together, date and compete against each other in a variety of challenges designed to turn up the heat and help them get to know each other better. Then the principle housemates will have to decide which potential mate they would like to keep, and the other gets the boot. Their chosen mate will remain in the house and someone new will move in the next day.

Each episode thereafter covers a four-day period and will resolve itself with two singles moving out and two new singles moving in. In the sixth and final episode, viewers will vote on which couple deserves to win its own Love Shack.