Thankfully for
those watching at home, “the most exciting two minutes in sports” is just what
it claims to be: two minutes long.

Any more of
The Kentucky Derby would be too much to take.

The Daytona
500 of high society, now on the verge of its 134th running, has become more of
an NBC-televised excuse for people to drink and gamble in sunny spring weather
than a sporting event.

Contrary to
what you may believe, or what the name might indicate, The Kentucky Derby is
not actually about horses at all. Instead, it is about gambling, socializing
with celebrities, getting drunk and (possibly as a result of the alcohol
consumption) wearing ridiculous hats.

While the
event is often referred to as “the most exciting two minutes in sports,”
because of the intensity and duration of the actual race, The Kentucky Derby,
thanks to the amount of alcohol consumed and money wagered, could be just as
well be called the “two drunkest minutes” and the “two most heavily bet-on
minutes” in sports, too.

That’s right,
just like any great American tradition, it’s getting tanked and throwing around
money that lies at the heart of the Derby. Although betting and boozing
probably contributed greatly to the event’s iconic standing, at some point,
enough is enough.

That point is
now approaching faster than a stretch runner coming around the final turn.

And there’s no
ignoring it.

Horse racing,
more so than any other sport, is fundamentally about gambling.

Sure you might
root for Cowboy Cal this Saturday because he’s got a funny name, but the only
other reason people have to cheer him on is that he pays off nicely at 20-1
odds.

Unless you’re
just a big fan of animals with people names, the reason you watch horse racing
in the first place is because you like to make a wager on it.

The drinking
isn’t much of a secret either.

Almost as a
big a tradition as the actual racing of the horses on the track is the downing
of the glasses in the crowd.

In the
infield, where Derby-goers arrive hours early to “pre-race” and party, beer is
the choice. In the stands, it’s the famed Mint Julep. A bourbon and mint
concoction, the Mint Julep is as synonymous with the event as Secretariat.

Now, there
isn’t anything horribly wrong with alcohol at a sporting event. It’s just when
it becomes a drinking event with some sports going on that a problem occurs.

As the
drinking continues to take center stage at Churchill Downs; the Derby is
starting to teeter down that line like a drunk in a field sobriety test.

Not that the Derby
has found such a novel concept in pairing cocktails with betting slips. There
is no doubting the relationship that betting and booze have with a number of
other sporting events. Unfortunately, gambling and drinking are prevalent just
about everywhere you look in sports. Sports betting is a billion-dollar
industry, and any televised sporting event inevitably has an advertisement (or
12 of them) for a beer company.

Heck, gambling
(in the form of poker) has even become a sport that’s televised and covered by
ESPN.

The
involvement of wagers and alcohol in sports isn’t a new phenomenon either, so
it is hard to make the claim that the two are ruining the purity of sports
because they have been there from the start.

They are
starting to get a little too intertwined, though.

Betting lines
and beer sponsors have turned into statistics readily available on the tips of
fans’ tongues. It’s impossible to know that the Steelers are 8-2 without also
knowing that they are nine-point favorites.

Watching the
NBA Playoffs shouldn’t be about whether or not the Pistons can cover the spread,
and watching De La Hoya fight Forbes should be more than an opportunity to
drink.

As it is,
sports are exciting enough and don’t need alcohol or gambling to make them better.

It’s too bad
that shots of cocktail glasses and graphics featuring each horse’s odds will
dominate coverage of the Derby this weekend because the actual race really is
one of the most exciting, breathless and riveting two-minute stretches in
sports.

And you don’t
need a Mint Julep or a betting slip to enjoy it.?

?

Mike is a
sophomore majoring in political science. If you think Big Truck is going to
give Colonel Josh a run for his money this weekend, he can be reached at [email protected].