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The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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You said it: Favre’s a ______ (noun)

This past weekend, sandwiched around men's hockey winning its national championship, Phil Mickelson not blowing a Master's title (while Tiger Woods did) and the Brewers losing their first game of the year, Brett Favre made his way into the headlines yet again, calling for a press conference basically to say that he hasn't made a decision.

Now, I realize Brett Favre is quite the touchy topic in the land of milk and Honeyweiss, so I'll have to tread carefully while I tackle the subject of Favre, Wisconsin's adopted son of football, and No. 1 write-in ballot winner of any state election.

So, speaking of write-ins, that is exactly what this will be. Write your own column on the future for Favre:

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Brett Favre is such a ________ (noun). Do you know what kind of ________ (noun) it takes to call a 7:30 a.m. press conference in ________ (Tunica, or description of your choice), Miss., to discuss your future, ensuring every major media outlet would be there, and then just basically say that you haven't decided yet? It's pretty ________ (adjective), keeping his Packer nation ________ (verb).

This whole Favre situation has me ________ (verb). If Brett comes back, the Pack could compete for ________ (your choice).

If I had things my way, Favre would be sporting ________ (clothes, color, etc.) and ________ (clothes, color, etc.) on opening day, Sunday, Sept. 10, throwing ________ (noun plural) for the ________ (team, person, etc.), just the way it was meant to be.

Surely, Dan Marino's all-time TD record of 420 would be _______ (adjective, verb), while Aaron Rodgers' record of consecutive games started on the bench by a first-round pick would ________ (adjective, verb).

The problem is ________ (adverb) Favre loves ________ (noun) too much. How could he ________ (verb), when he still has so _______ (quantifier) left in the ________ (noun)?

Sure, Favre had a down season, but half of those interceptions were just as much the fault of ________ (perpetrator). It also didn't help that half of Green Bay's starting lineup was ________ (your choice) last season, or that the Chicago Bears had the best ________ (your choice) in the division.

The sad fact is that Favre will probably ________ (verb), and go spend more time with his ________ (noun plural).

Regardless though, Favre's legacy will live on, and to me he will always be ________________ (your choice expression… Make it good!).

Just for the record, here's how mine would look.

Brett Favre is such a meanie. Do you know what kind of gumption it takes to call a 7:30 a.m. press conference in middle of nowhere (Tunica?), Miss., to discuss your future, ensuring every major media outlet would be there, and then just basically say that you haven't decided yet? It's nice though, keeping his Packer nation well informed.

This whole Favre situation has me bored to tears. If Brett comes back, the Pack could compete for third place in the North. Woohoo.

If I had things my way, Favre would be sporting PJs and a beer belly on opening day, Sunday, Sept. 10, throwing half-eaten bean burritos at the TV for the constant close-ups of Packers' general manager Ted Thompson, just the way it was meant to be.

Surely, Dan Marino's all-time TD record of 420 would be as untouchable as the 56-game hitting streak of baseball while Aaron Rodgers' record of consecutive games started on the bench by a first-round pick would continue, after JT O'Sullivan beats him out in camp.

The problem is Favre loves throwing the ball up for grabs too much. How could he throw touchdowns, when he still has so many defenders left in the buff, they are so wide open?

Sure, Favre had a down season, but it wasn't all his fault, as half of those interceptions were just as much the fault of opposing defensive linemen double-daring him to throw with his eyes closed. It also didn't help that half of Green Bay's starting lineup was a J.V. unit last season, or that the Chicago Bears had the best quarterback and defense in the division.

The sad fact for Packer fans is that Favre will probably run for governor — in Missisippi, and go spend more time with his Dungeons and Dragons buddies at 7-11.

Regardless though, Favre's legacy will live on, and to me he will always be the guy who backed up Chris Miller and Billie Joe Tolliver in Atlanta.

Dave McGrath is a senior majoring in English and journalism. Please send your filled out column to [email protected].

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