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The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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A duel of delicious names

According to Eric:

As the old cereal slogan goes, "Everyone loves my Cocoa Krispies." While that may not be the best slogan for selling cereal, it works perfectly well for Cleveland Indians' outfielder Coco Crisp.

I don't even really see how Tom can argue with me on this one. We're talking chocolate against a tortilla filled with meat and cheese and all that jazz. I suppose if you are drunk or stoned and are reading this right now, you might disagree with me, but if you are drunk or stoned and are reading this right now, you've got bigger issues anyway.

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While I do enjoy a good taco, nothing is sweeter — and nothing says I love you — like chocolate. So who wouldn't like a 6-foot, 186-pound brick of chocolate?

I mean, who doesn't enjoy a nice warm mug of hot cocoa on a brisk fall day? Or, if perhaps you weren't a fan of the Cocoa Krispies, you undoubtedly were cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

I know we are talking names here, but Coco has proven himself as a solid player on the rise. This past season he played in 145 games, had 100 more at bats than last year, yet had the best batting average of his career at .300.

All Taco has ever done is play a couple games here and there with the Seahawks. What happens when Tony Fisher goes down this week — do the Packers pick up Burrito Thompson?

I promised myself that I would never argue for anything that came out of Cleveland, but I have to make an exception here. Coco Crisp: up-and-coming outfielder, delicious cereal, tasty name.

Everyone loves Coco Crisp.

Then again, this subject must have been debated in some boardroom somewhere along the way. How else would anyone have thought of two delicious products and combined them into one delicious ice cream treat? You know what I'm talking about — the Choco Taco.

According to Tom:

Yeah, Tuesday was a rough day for the Green Bay Packers. The team placed starting running back Ahman Green on injured reserve, yet another blow to a depleted Packer offense. However, Green's injury cleared room for general manager Ted Thompson to sign the one, the only, former Kansas State standout Taco Wallace. But Thompson didn't just get a wide receiver with Wallace; he made his team a little tastier as well. And for a team named after meat packers, that is no small feat.

Thompson knew of the Taco's tastiness — after all, he drafted Wallace in the seventh round of the 2003 NFL Draft. After seeing Taco grab 39 balls for 704 yards as a senior at KSU, Thompson decided he needed to place an order with league commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

Granted, Taco didn't quite fit in with the Seahawks. But how can you really market a quality meal that contains a bird of prey? We all know a move to Green Bay and the tasty meats found in Lambeau Field was all this Taco needed to regain the appeal that made him El Roberson's favorite target back in Manhattan, Kan.

No, I know what Schmoldt is going to say … oh, chocolate is so delicious. Blah, blah, blah. But when you're really hungry, are you really going to dive into a bowl of sweets? No. Exactly. There's just no substance.

Just take a look at how many students frequent Taco Bell, Taco John's, Qdoba and Chipotle every night in Madison. Funny, I don't see nearly that number sprinting to their nearest grocer to pick up a box of chocolate-flavored cereal. And, if they do, you know they're going with the Count.

Coco Crisp might have more professional experience, but let's face it — he's also almost two years older than Taco Wallace. And we all know what that means: Coco might be a little moldy.

The Packers wanted something that could really fill them up, and got just that with a 192-pound Taco.

Yo quiero Taco Wallace.

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