There are few things that can elicit pure hatred from one individual toward another. In most instances a cumulative final, a compulsive liar or an ex-girlfriend will do the trick, but in the Wisconsin sports world you only merely have to mention one word, one city: Chicago.

With the Cubbies coming to Milwaukee this weekend I am left with a bitter taste in my mouth and my contempt for our neighbors to the south. It’s a special time of the year for Brewers fans as we typically have nothing to root for, and so choose to root against.

For Wisconsin sports fans the hate for Chicago is often rooted deep within the historical memoirs of our parents, but it likely extends into a personal memory of our own experiences. In some instances it is hate stemming from a specific instance, in some cases it comes from decades of bad blood, but in my estimation this hate usually erupts due to the little devil residing in nearly every fan this city has to offer. How could Jim McMahon or Albert Belle have ever been your favorite player? These men are thugs.

I know that they are good athletes who led their teams, but let’s be real, you couldn’t let these men walk behind you in a dark alley without fearing for your physical well-being.

With the Milwaukee Brewers typically residing in the lower half of their division, it became evident to me at an early age that only true baseball fans were attending the games. Yet whenever the much-hated White Sox came to town they seemed to bring with them no less then 15,000 completely drunk fans.

As obscenities were being shouted at my mother and whistles directed toward my sister, I took great pride in every game we won. The White Sox were a thug team, and who better to represent them than Albert Belle. It was Belle who violently leveled Brewers second baseman Fernando Vina on a routine out while he was with the Indians, and it was Belle I hated as a Southsider.

When the Brewers switched to the National League I wasn’t exposed to the White Sox lunatics as much as I had been in the past, and I hoped that they had become a little more civilized. Alas, they still manage to creep on to Sportscenter every time they attack an umpire or punch out a first base coach. The White Sox managed to instill so much dislike within me that, although their cross-town rivals are now in the same division as the Brewers, I still can’t help but root against them, and so I say ‘Go Royals’.

In all honestly, many Wisconsin baseball fans have always felt sorry for the Cubs and their losing ways. Since the Brewers never played them we didn’t pay them much attention.

I enjoyed watching Sosa hit all those home runs and talking to him after the games at County Stadium. Brewers’ fans enjoyed the Cubs and their fans while they were losing. But since they’ve found a winning formula their fans have become a different type of annoyance.

Often baseball savvy, Cubs fans love to complain about how long it has been since they’ve won the World Series. The Brewers have never played a playoff game while my heart has beat. I have struggled through 20 years of ups (a .500 season) and downs (a 100-loss season).

Don’t whine to me about losing. If you want to complain about something, complain about the fact that you have to drink “Crap-weiser” at your games instead of the tastier and less filling alternative.

The purest hatred many Wisconsinites generate for the windy city is directed toward the Chicago Bears. With football season drawing near it is an entirely different type of hate than we have for the Bears. It is hate generated by a football loving family and an ever-growing rivalry. It is that type of hate that resides in the pit of your stomach for all your life, a hate that will never leave.

My hate for the Bears is drawn from my years growing up in Milwaukee and traveling down to Chicago, forced to deal with all of the traffic, all of the chaos and all of the stupidity. It’s like the city breeds people without manners.

I know not all fans of Chicago sports are ignorant drunks, and to those of you who I have offended, I apologize, but you have to understand where I’m coming from. Years and years of having to deal with White Sox and Bears fans, and all you’ve given us was Jose Hernandez.

Thanks a lot.