Hello all,
I’m hesitant to write a farewell column, because I haven’t
officially graduated. I still need to pass a required gym class, which is
somewhat iffy for me. But, at the risk
of angering the physical education gods, I’d like to take the time to thank
those who have contributed to my columns over the past year. Don’t worry. I’ll
keep it pithy, like Bill O’Reilly tells me to.
I, of course, wouldn’t be writing for The Badger Herald if it
weren’t for the paper’s opinion page editors. When they asked me to write for
the paper, they gave me a chance to express my views. If I didn’t write for The
Badger Herald, I’d drive my roommate crazy ranting about Scott Walker and
Barack Obama. My roommate and I thank
you, opinion page editors.
And to my muse, Madison
– we’ve had our ups and downs, but
we’re still here, babe. Honestly, I haven’t always liked Madison. In fact, there’ve
been times when I’ve downright hated her. She can be cold and unforgiving. But
Madison is for me what Dublin was for Joyce: the place where pain generates
inspiration.
However, my true inspiration comes from my parents. They encouraged me when I doubted myself, and they criticized me when I got too
cocky. They gave me advice on what to write about and, to my chagrin, bragged
about my writing on Facebook. It’s been a tough four years, Mom and Dad, but
the end is in sight.
I could go on and on, but to quote my favorite philosopher,
Groucho Marx, “Hello, I must be going. I cannot stay. I came to say, ‘I must
be going.’ I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going. La la.”
Yours truly,
Jeff Schultz
Jeff Schultz ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in history.