Contrary to what the name may suggest, Sex Out Loud is not a porn group.
Ever since we started a chapter in 1996, we have been one of the largest student organizations at the University of Wisconsin, and facilitate programs all over campus on topics ranging from consent and sexually transmitted infections to pleasure and kink. We provide campus with literally hundreds of thousands of condoms and other safe-sex supplies such as dams, lube and receptive condoms. At Sex Out Loud’s core lies the belief pleasure-inclusive sex education is central to creating a consent culture on our campus and elsewhere.
Sex Out Loud believes reinforcing consent culture, both on campus and off, acts as a powerful tool against sexual assault. Learning about consent is not only necessary, but also sexy.
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Consent culture battles sexual assault from the ground up, and it lays the foundation for the rest of our programming. Those who have participated in Sex Out Loud’s programs know what we do could not be farther from the typical high school sex education class. Medical professionals train each program facilitator, granting staff members the ability to teach about birth control, sexually transmitted infections and anatomy — big kid words, like perineum and vulva.
But as peer educators, you’ll also hear us talk about how to eat pussy and use cock rings. Our goal is to start conversations that are inclusive for everyone. Health classes in middle and high schools regarding sexuality are taught assuming a heterosexual, cisgender audience, but Sex Out Loud knows better. Program facilitators are trained to use gender-neutral, inclusive language that expands outside heteronormativity — the assumption that everyone is straight — and cisnormativity — the assumption that everyone identifies with the sex they were assigned at birth.
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Nationwide sex education often follows an abstinence-only approach, despite studies demonstrating its ineffectiveness. In Wisconsin, sex education promotes abstinence, and is not even required to be scientifically accurate. Though abstinence can certainly be a great choice for some folks, Sex Out Loud believes everyone should have access to correct, comprehensive information about sexual health and pleasure in order to enjoy healthy, happy sexual lives. Folks who attend our programs are then equipped with the tools to explore their own sexuality in a productive way and pass the knowledge along to others.
Many schools in the U.S. do not show students how to correctly use an external condom, while Sex Out Loud shows students how to use an external condom, internal condom and a sex dam. Often, in both sex education and popular culture, folks see sex as something that is active for men, and passive for women. One might hear this in everyday conversation, for example, when folks say something like, “he (active) fucked her (passive) last night.”
When we think about sex as men being the aggressors and women as passive facilitators for their pleasure, we are reinforcing rape culture, along with heteronormativity. That’s why talking about pleasure for folks of all genders is so important.
When we talk about the clitoris and why it’s so dang sensitive, we are teaching folks sex is not just about pleasing a penis. In order to promote consent culture, we challenge our community to think about sex as an activity where all partners participate in pleasure. Through our programs, we hope to empower folks to have shame-free communications about sex and sexuality — an integral element of consent.
Folks interested in inviting Sex Out Loud to facilitate a program can visit our website and choose from our many options. We do programs for dorms, sororities, fraternities, student organizations — really, for any group of 10 people or more.
Sex Out Loud’s mission is to promote healthy sexuality through sex-positive education and activism. Find them on Facebook and Twitter.
