On the evening before the first day of my sophomore year, I closed the door to my room and stared at my phone. I crawled onto the bed that my parents had helped me put together one week earlier, before flying back to Massachusetts. My heart — a wild, suddenly unfamiliar organ — beat against my chest like it wanted out. I was cold and sweating. The thought of going to my first class the next day triggered a stranglehold of anxiety. I didn’t even want to get high. I wanted to curl into a fetal bundle, close my eyes and have my dad take it all away, like magic — or God.
I asked my heart to stop pounding, to forgive me for long enough to make this phone call. I dialed, and my dad answered. I didn’t blurt it out — it took many preparatory breaths. Finally I said, “I’m addicted to OxyContin.” As I cried, the tension drained.
After that phone call with my dad, it took me a couple of months to access the care I needed. Most of it was off-campus. The only thing left of my support system was a thousand miles away, and the fear I felt was crippling. It was an incredible challenge to figure out how to reach for what I needed. As lonely as I felt, the truth is that there were many others like me who bore a similar, 10-ton secret, or who felt the same fear for one reason or another — I just needed to find them. Live Free is about finding them.
Live Free is a new University of Wisconsin registered student organization that promotes well-being and community integration for students in recovery and their supporters. Our mission is to share recovery and wellness resources, encourage self-discovery and enrich the social lives of our members. By the end of my active use of drugs and alcohol, there was only room in my life for me. Some of the strongest antidotes to my isolation were hope and connection to others.
Whether you are recovering, curious about recovery or simply in support of others doing it — whether you want to have fun or create change — we welcome you. Our organization holds space for all those who are affected by any type of dependence, directly or indirectly. And, let’s face it — that’s pretty much everyone. Live Free works closely with University Health Services and other community partners to develop our ability to act as a resource for students. Our best chance at effectively serving our community is to understand their needs, so if this resonates with you, or if you want to actively participate in the integration of recovering students into collegiate life, contact us at [email protected].
We have a lot of exciting new events and initiatives kicking off this fall, including weekly process groups, study nights and chances to experience live music and comedy. We call ourselves Live Free because our vision is to live free of boredom, shame, self-pity, stigma, fear and isolation — the list goes on. I used to think it impossible to enjoy myself without drugs or alcohol. I was sorely mistaken. On Friday, Sept. 6, from noon to 4 p.m. we are having a special event at James Madison Park. There will be free food, music and games. Come and join in the celebration of our presence on campus this fall!
Live Free is just one piece of the Recovery Movement, a nationally recognized social movement, in our city. In celebration of September as national recovery month, an organization called Wisconsin Voices for Recovery is hosting the Rocking Recovery Rally Saturday, Sept. 13. Out on the Capitol Square (State Street side), from 11 a.m. until 2 p.m., stop by to enjoy the live DJ and hear speakers like New York Times best selling author Tom Farley and state Rep. John Nygren, R-Marinette, whose daughter has suffered with heroin addiction. Among many other community collaborators, Live Free is sponsoring this event. Come out and show your support for recovery!
Vanessa della Bitta (vdellabitta
