Freshmen: Welcome to Wisconsin. Welcome to fat. Each year we start off with Welcome Week — 10 consecutive days of drinking, binge eating and hooking up. Now in your fourth week on campus, you have probably started to feel the ill effects of the college lifestyle. Maybe you’re noticing some extra rolls in your mid-section, a bit of back fat or perhaps some cellulite on your butt — do you want to vomit yet?

According to a recent study conducted by David A. Levitsky, professor of nutrition and psychology at Cornell University, in the first 12 weeks on campus, college students gain an average of 4.2 pounds. That means that so far we should all be at least a couple of pounds larger than how we arrived. So, before chugging another dozen beers and making a few more rounds in the dining hall, take some time to picture the transformation of your body into a chunky, unattractive roly-poly blob.

You may have noticed that our sedentary lifestyle (partying, eating, sleeping and dragging yourself to class) has the potential to dry up your once ambitious goals of becoming a doctor, lawyer or a big shot CEO. Students often realign their priorities once they hit campus — why should we waste our time in challenging classes when we can pig out and chug beers, courtesy of our loving parents?

After a couple of days in Madison, a game of Beirut quickly becomes much more exciting than writing a paper on forestry for English 100. But what does this over-consumption of calories — this cycle of binge drinking and binge eating — do to our bodies?

Short term, bulking up in college destroys our physique, lowers our self-confidence and makes us feel lethargic; in the long run, it can lead to a plethora of obesity-related illnesses, including heart disease and cancer. But let’s face it: students are lazy and convinced that eating a well-balanced meal and staying in-shape is next to impossible.

And while a high-protein diet, balanced with whole grains and daily trips up Bascom Hill is a quick solution to the battle of the bulge, we continue to drink beer and eat mass quantities of fatty food. While maintaining a balanced diet is a challenge, with a little thought, it can be done — and you can still look (somewhat) like you did in high school.

Just like the study participants at Cornell, during my freshman year, I gained about eight to 10 pounds. For me, the buffet-style dorms provided the opportunity to rebel against my organic Kashi and tofu parents — I could walk around the cafeteria eating every forbidden food known to this portly state.

I had no qualms about filling up on a small plate of curly French fries drenched in ketchup (300 calories, 18 grams of fat), taste-testing every pastry (calories unknown), eating a salad comprised of croutons, bacon bits, Kraft ranch dressing and a bit of lettuce, and then downing pounds of “fat-free” frozen yogurt (30 calories/ounce) topped with peanuts (200 calories), Oreo cookie crumbs (220 calories) and sprinkles (170 calories). As a freshman, I didn’t care about my weight — I was convinced I’d never become fat. Now I realize why I gained so much weight so quickly: frozen yogurt, when consumed in mass quantities, contains more calories than a regular-sized Chocolate Coldstone Ice Cream cone (610 calories, 40 grams of fat). For those skeptics, those who swear that you can eternally stay thin — good luck. Even if you don’t binge in the dining hall, those extra calories you consume in alcohol and late night burritos don’t mesh well with the recommended 2000 daily calories.

Girls and guys alike complain about their beer bellies, thick thighs and bubbly butts, but instead of taking action, instead of curbing our self-destructive habits, most of us remain motionless, paving our road towards obesity.

So, how do we avoid the pathetic destiny of becoming the fat lady eating a frozen TV dinner in front of a brainless sitcom? Here are a few tips to get you to Winter Break without packing on the pounds: first, each time you are about to eat, ask yourself, “Am I really hungry, or am I eating because I’m stressed, facing social pressures or a set mealtime?”

When walking around the cafeteria, don’t stockpile your plate with every entrée. Instead take human-sized portions and each time you drop a scoop of something, think about what ingredients are in it (when you fill your plate with “Chinese food” and realize that it was — and still is — frozen and covered in a thick salty lard layer, you may want to reconsider eating it).

The Boston College Eating Awareness Team recommends consuming food slowly, so that you can recognize when you’ve had enough. “It takes about fifteen minutes to get the ‘full’ message, so slow down and enjoy your food, giving your brain time to catch up with your stomach. Eating quickly makes it easier to overeat without realizing it.” And while simply thinking about your hunger-level may delay a mealtime for a few hours, it won’t prevent drunk eating (I’m still not sure how to avoid that).

To lower your calorie consumption from alcohol, however, avoid fruity-mixed drinks and Long Island Iced Teas, which are loaded in sugar and cause bad hangovers. Instead, stick to light beer (around 120 calories) or straight Vodka (60 calories/shot).

Now the hard part: working out. How do you get yourself motivated? Drag a friend to cycling, Pilates or one of many other classes offered at the SERF and NAT. For the novice, these may sound intimidating, but they are actually a lot of fun and taught by skilled, energetic and often helpful instructors.

Rachel Alkon ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in English/creative writing.