Welcome back to another Hump Day, everyone! As our livers recover from Halloween and our stomachs begin to anticipate Thanksgiving, it is once again time to answer some of my fellow Badger’s most burning questions.
Hello, Hump Day. Last month I gave my number to this hot guy I met at the KK since we had a really great conversation, and he seemed like he was genuinely interested in me. However, he only texts me looking for sex and never wants to just hang out or go on a date. How can I get him to understand that I want to be more than a booty call?
If you have ever read my previous columns, you know my advice is always better communication. Don’t like something? Tell your partner. Want something more? Tell your partner. Now I don’t mean reply to his booty calls with a snarky text, as tempting as that may be. Instead, invite him over to watch movies and, while he is at your place, discuss your concerns. Initiate the conversation, share your side and truly listen to his response.
This is not to say that chatting it out will suddenly make him want a committed romantic relationship, but it is better that each of you are honest about your expectations. This guy could be completely genuine in his interest in you. But maybe he’s graduating soon and doesn’t want to risk a serious relationship. Maybe he simply wants a friend with benefits to help release some stress from school. Talk to him and figure out if your relationship desires are compatible. If he is unable to commit to the romantic relationship you desire, let that horny fish go back to the sea so he can find someone to bang who wants a similar relationship. As hot as this man may be, waiting around for him to spontaneously desire a relationship of dating and hand-holding is a waste of your time.
As a final note, I’d argue that if you want a serious relationship, look somewhere other than a bar to find the man of your dreams. Many people go to bars looking to hook up, not to find someone to bring home to their parents. If you want to find someone to have a more meaningful relationship with, check out some student organizations. These are great places to meet people with similar interests.
Hello, ladies. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years, and at first the sex was mind-blowing, some of the best sex ever. However, in the last month or so, I have noticed that I seem to want to have sex more than my boyfriend. Is that normal? If so, how can I help him to want to have more sex with me?
When a couple’s libidos don’t match up, the result is normally frustration for the one with the higher libido and shame for the other. This is a difficult subject to bring up with your partner, since you don’t want to place any stress on them, or they could develop performance anxiety and withdraw from the relationship. It’s possible that this discrepancy in libido comes from boredom with the sexual habits of the relationships. This problem appears frequently in long-term relationships as you both develop routines together. Therefore, I’d recommend that you concentrate on the sex you do already have and try to make that the best sex ever. Get creative; bring in some fantasies you share or even some toys. Set aside enough time to allow for plenty of foreplay to ensure a stress-free time. By relieving some of the stress in your life and making sex more playful and exploratory, it is possible that your boyfriend’s libido will increase along with his interest.
It’s also possible that your boyfriend simply has a lower desire for sex, or needs to have sex less often. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, especially since he seems to still desire you when you two do have sex. Most relationships suffer from an imbalance of libidos, and many of those relationships thrive. If the sex between you two is still satisfying and you are happy with other aspects of your relationship, then in my opinion your relationship is pretty awesome. Get yourself a vibrator for those days when your boyfriend isn’t in the mood, and keep having great sex on the days he is.
That is all I have time for this week, Badgers! Keep sending your questions to [email protected].
