Hi, Hump Day readers! It’s Wednesday – you know what that means: More sex questions, more sex answers.

Do certain sexual positions improve your cardio?

It depends. While sex can definitely increase your endurance, it may be more beneficial to increase your cardio endurance outside the bedroom first. Staying in shape by walking, running, and strength training will improve your strength, endurance, and flexibility in general, and open up some new possibilities in the bedroom. While I wouldn’t recommend sex as your sole source of exercise, if it’s your only option, it’s definitely better than nothing!

All the women I see in porn look like they weigh like a hundred pounds. Is this how guys want women to look when having sex?

I can’t speak for every man (or woman), but this notion was generally disproven last year – most guys prefer women to be heavier rather than thinner. The authors of the 2011 book “A Billion Wicked Thoughts” studied the Internet activity of more than a billion people. They found that for every porn-related search for a “skinny” girl, there were almost three searches for a “fat” girl. Plus, many of the men they interviewed said they love having something to hold onto and look at during sex. So for every woman who’s ever felt self-conscious about her weight during sex: Flaunt it! And for every guy who likes curvy girls: Never hesitate to let us know – it might get you laid.

Does anyone wait until marriage to have sex anymore?

Yes.

Is there such a thing as too much sex?

As long as you’re both enjoying it, I can’t imagine that there is. The only risk that comes to mind: frequent sexual intercourse can sometimes cause urinary tract infections, so if you’re a lady and you start noticing UTI symptoms like frequent urination, be sure to check in with your OB/GYN.

My boyfriend wants us to watch each other have sex with other people. I’m open to doing whatever he wants because we like to keep our sex life exciting after being together for three years, but I’m not sure how I feel about this. Could you talk about some of the pros/cons? What would you do?

Ask yourself the following questions: Are you the jealous type? Can you watch your partner have sex with another person without feeling angry or betrayed? Will this cause damage to your relationship? Are you even the least bit interested in having sex with someone other than your partner? This is a tough one. I’m torn between saying: a) Obviously don’t do anything you don’t want to do, and b) Taking the plunge and doing something crazy can be a great way to open yourself up to new, fulfilling sexual activities.

My advice: Go with your gut. If you’re not interested in having sex with anyone else, and if you’re not interested in watching your partner interact sexually with someone else, let your partner know that you’d rather find another way to spice up your sex life. Don’t go through with this just to please your partner, because hurting yourself isn’t worth it.

But if you’re stable in your relationship, you know that getting physical with other people won’t damage what you have, you set up boundaries that you and your partner agree upon and you find people you’re both attracted to who will respect the boundaries you establish, then go for it. If you choose to do this, I’d suggest setting up a code word or signal with your partner so that you can communicate to him or her if you feel uncomfortable and change your mind at any point during playtime.

How can I get my partner to be more comfortable with my vibrator?

Start bringing it to bed with you when it’s time to get down. The first time, don’t actually use it – just lay it next to you. The next time, ask your partner to hold it against you for just a minute during foreplay, then set it aside and get on with your business. Each time you want to play, keep it around – the more time your partner spends around your vibrator, the more he or she will get used to having it around.

Is there a medical use for Kegels outside of sexual health?

Yes! Kegels are exercises that strengthen women’s pelvic floor muscles. During pregnancy and delivery, or if they become too weak in general, these muscles can collapse, causing the pelvic organs to sag – called a uterine prolapse. Kegels can also be prescribed as treatment for incontinence (they can help people with frequent urination problems feel like they don’t have to “go” as often).

How can I tell if my partner is faking it?

Listen to his or her breathing and pay attention to body temperature. Is her breathing slowly getting heavier? Is his body temperature or heart rate going up? Are her muscles tightening? Can you see goose bumps on his skin? These are signs that your partner’s orgasm is genuine.

But if she’s thrashing around like she’s riding a mechanical bull, or if he’s screaming and moaning when you’re not actually touching him, your partner is probably faking. Here’s a tip: If the orgasm feels unearned, it’s probably not happening.

That’s all for this week! ‘Til next time.

Send Mary some sugar at [email protected].