Dear Hump Day,

A friend of mine just told me about the female condom. And there is supposedly another condom that you only use for oral sex. I don’t get it. Why use them? Are they effective? And are male condoms all the same?

Seeking Information Lacking About Sex

Dear SILAS,

The options that are before you! There are tons of barriers out there for you to use, depending on who you are playing with and how you want to play. Let’s clear up the confusion:

There is the male condom, also known as the insertive condom. Think of it as something to use when you want to protect whatever you are inserting into someone – penis, dildo or buttplug. Insertive condoms come in all different sizes, colors, brands, textures, materials and even flavors. Regardless of any of those variables, they all have to meet the same standards of effectiveness. An insertive condom used correctly is 98 percent effective in protecting a partner against pregnancy and STIs such as H.I.V.

One thing to note is that lambskin condoms – a misnomer because they are actually made of sheep intestines – are only effective against pregnancy, and NOT STIs. The membranes allow for smaller bacteria to pass through it.

Insertive condoms are the most popular barriers. They are cost-effective, typically around 50 cents a condom. Keep in mind that Sex Out Loud, UHS, Planned Parenthood and many other reproductive organizations give out insertive condoms for free. Insertive condoms can be used during oral sex. Slip on a mint or fruit punch flavored condom and lick away!

The female condom that you mentioned is also known as the receptive condom. It can be inserted in anything that will be receiving sex, such as the vagina or the anus. The receptive condom comes in only two variations, as it hasn’t been on the market quite as long as the insertive condom. The newest receptive condom, packaged as the FC2 condom, is made out of a much quieter material, nitrile. It comes very lubricated, for added pleasure and easier insertion. There are two rings on the receptive condom.

One is inside the condom, that you squeeze into a figure eight and slide into the anus or vagina. That ring helps the condom stay in place. The other ring is attached to the front of the condom. It stays on the outside of the body. With perfect use, the receptive condom is 95 percent effective.

Because the receptive condom covers more of the outside surface area, it is said to potentially be more effective against STIs that are passed from skin to skin. It’s also pretty cool because you can insert it up to 8 hours in advance, which means no more waiting for a dick to get hard!

The sex dam, also known as the dental dam, is a piece of latex, nitrile or polyurethane that typically comes in a square or rectangular shape. It can be flavored or not, and in several different colors. The whole point of the sex dam is to use it during oral sex, on an area that you can lay it on, like the anus or the vagina. One side is for your partner, one side is for you. No flipping mid act.

You can even add some whipped cream or chocolate for your side, as you trace every millimeter of your partner’s labia. When used correctly, sex dams are very effective against STIs – and you don’t typically have to worry about pregnancy.

The receptive condom and the sex dam are a bit more costly then the insertive condom. But if you are a student, Sex Out Loud and other sexual health RSOs also give them out for free.

Things to keep in mind with all of these barriers. Do NOT double up and use the two barriers at the same time. Each barrier is meant to be used by itself. Double bagging can increase friction, potentially leading to breakage. Also, do NOT use oil based lubes with latex condoms or sex dams.

Do NOT use a barrier method more than once per act. They are meant for one use only. No sticking it in the dishwasher. Also, if you are engaging in anal and want to switch to vaginal, change condoms. The anus has its own specific flora and fauna, as does the vagina. Don’t mix it.

Some people prefer the receptive condom. Others swear by insertive ribbed condoms. Think of all of these options like a buffet. You can try a studded latex condom with your favorite dildo. And when going down on your partner, add a chocolate flavored sex dam to your menu. And then to finish the morning off, you can slip the receptive condom into your partner’s anus and tease them until they come. Mix and match while staying protected and happy!

This article was written by Nicolette Pawlowski. Nicolette is a trained sexual health educator and a graduate student in EPS. All questions are from real readers. Keep ’em coming! Email: [email protected].