Dear Hump Day,

It’s been about three months since I’ve been dating a guy, and he’s awesome in bed. The only problem is, he takes Viagra and some other pills that prevent him from cumming early. I’m worried about his health and our future, and I’m looking for a natural way to help him “perform” so we can continue to have an amazing experience without any dangerous chemical stuff.

Never Experienced Love So Originally Natural

Hello Nelson,

I like you and your boyfriend’s adventurous nature! But the Viagra has got to go. There are always side effects for drugs, and you have a good reason to want him to switch to natural methods. Viagra has been shown to impair vision and potentially increase the risk of heart attack in some men. Fortunately, there are several techniques that you and your partner can do that do not require medication.

Some of these practices take a little longer to see results – it’s not like popping a pill. However, once mastered, these techniques will increase the time of erection, heighten pleasure for all partners and even potentially increase the sensation of the orgasm for your boyfriend. All major pluses to dumping the medication and starting to explore some of these suggestions.

There are a couple methods that your boyfriend can do on his own. The first is done while masturbating. Your boyfriend should masturbate until the point that he starts feeling the climax approaching. Then, he should slow down his stroking, changing his grip to decrease the amount of pressure that is building.

Once he feels the orgasm start to subside, build it up again. And once more let it recede. After the third time, let the orgasm go. It will likely be more intense. The whole point of this exercise is learning to control the orgasm, adjusting both physically and mentally to decrease the intensity right at the peak in order to last longer.

The next technique is to do kegel exercises. These are exercises that strengthen the pelvic floor, mainly the pubococcygeus muscle – also known as the PC muscle. The PC muscle contracts during orgasm, giving you those lovely sensations. It also controls the flow of urine. When you strengthen the PC muscle, you increase the amount of control that you have over the muscle, increasing the span of time until orgasm.

To find the PC muscle, the next time your partner pees, have him stop the flow. That squeezing activates the PC muscle. To strengthen it, start with two reps of 10 squeezes. Do this outside of the bathroom. In fact, he can do this anywhere, even at his desk! Work up to 50 kegels, every other day. Once your partner has mastered more control, incorporate the kegels into sex. At the point of orgasm, your boyfriend should kegel and hold it until the orgasm resides.

For more immediate results, let’s head back into the bedroom. To increase the time of erection, increase other types of sex that do not involve thrusting. Lap at the scrotum, massage the feet with warm oil, bite the inner thighs. Switch between bucking and caressing. Increasing foreplay and other sexual moves will increase the time of pleasure for other fantastic sensations!

Cock rings are another way to maintain an erection. Measure your boyfriend with some string while he is erect. Depending on the way he will wear it, either do the base of the penis or under the balls and over the base. Take that measurement and divide by Pi (3.14). Then go and buy a cock ring. Stretchable ones are best for beginners. Use it for about 30 minutes or until the point of orgasm, whichever comes first.

Another variation would be to use thicker condoms. Condoms also have a slight cock ring effect themselves, and incorporating “ultra strong” or “super strong” condoms can slightly dampen the sensations for a little longer, increasing the time that your partner gets to ride you.

Change positions! Every position feels a little different depending on the angle and the depth, so changing it up can shift your partner’s attention, as well as adjust the pressure on his cock. You take control of the position by sitting on top of him. This will let him focus more on you and not as much on the orgasm building. Since you are more in control, you can slow down and vary the penetration whenever you see that he is about to reach the edge.

You both can also simply go for another round. There is nothing wrong with finishing sooner than expected, as long as you make sure all parties are satisfied. Men typically last much longer in round two. So take a breather and start stroking all over again.

Quick fixes are always alluring because we want that ideal sex right away. But taking some time to kegel and stroke in other places will open completely new doors for the both of you. You both have a lot of options. Best of luck on this new adventure!

This article was written by Nicolette Pawlowski. Nicolette is a trained sexual health educator and a graduate student in EPS. All questions are from real readers. Keep ’em coming! E-mail: [email protected].