Dear Hump Day,

My boyfriend and I have been talking about trying out a sex toy. We’ve never used one before. What would you recommend?

— A Naughty New Addition

Oh ANNA! The choices! It’s like being a kid again, but better because you don’t need to beg your parents to buy you that awesome Tonka truck.

Huge props to you for even discussing the addition of a toy in your sex life. A sex toy can add great enjoyment for the both of you, by adding variety and a completely different set of pulsations and sensations into your bedroom.

What toy should you invest in? Well, that depends on what you want to experience and how much you are willing to pay. Many of the toys we are going to explore here are well worth the money (any toy that costs more than $50 better be worth several months of orgasms!). Starting to get slightly queasy at the thought of shelling out dough for what your hand has been providing free for years? Well, compare that to the amount you have spent on dinners, flowers, movies, etc. Doesn’t even come close. And the sex toy might even last longer than your relationship…

There is of course another alternative to the commercial sex toy. Take a look around in your own home. There are plenty of sex toys that you already own, you just need a little hornier imagination. Remember that Tonka truck? The one with the hot yellow finish and the large riveted wheels? It will feel amazing running over your thighs and butt! Many people use their pillows, teddy bears, even the TV remote to assist them in achieving orgasms.

Food is another common sexual toy, whether it comes in phallic shapes – cucumbers, carrots, butternut squash – or interesting textures – whipped cream, different syrups, leeks and even broccoli (the latter two can be used for spanking and stroking). Hot and cold drinks can be used for temperature play. The end of a tooth brush can make for a slim butt plug. The possibilities are endless! As with all sex toys, safety is key. Don’t put sugar anywhere near the vulva (as it can lead to yeast infections) and keep the oily syrups and chocolates away from your latex condoms (oil will break down latex). For easier clean up and protection against pesticides (if you are going conventional), wrap the fruit or vegetable in a condom.

There are thousands of commercial sex toys on the market. When starting from scratch, I generally suggest trying at least two different toys on the lower end of your budget. Since you will be using this toy together with your partner, I would buy at least one toy that could be used and/or felt by the both of you. That typically falls into the vibrator, dildo, anal and nipple categories. A vibrator is exactly what it sounds like, a toy that undulates at a particular speed. Vibrators come in all different colors, sizes, shapes and materials.

A vibrator can have a set speed or come with a multiple set of combinations, where it might pulse for a couple of seconds, stop, change to a buzzing intensity, stop, start from a slight murmuring stroke and work its way up to a throbbing hum. The cheaper ones come with a cord and batteries and tend to have fewer bells and whistles. The most basic vibrator would be the Bullet, typically a silver bullet about the size of your thumb that comes corded, with a dial on the side of the remote that changes the speed. It starts from around $9.00 and goes up as it changes colors (glow in the dark) and changes speed combinations. Other vibrators have additional appendages for clitoral or anal stimulation – e.g. the Rabbit – and for added oomph can be plugged into an electrical socket – e.g. the Magic Wand.

A dildo is a solid toy typically made for penetration. They usually come phallic shaped and are made in all different sizes, colors and materials, such as glass, silicone and even stone. The butt plug is a close cousin of the dildo, with the main difference being that a butt plug has a flared base, in order to keep the plug in place. Other anal toys come on beaded plastic strings (do NOT get anal beads on rope as they cannot be sanitized), and can be specially designed to stimulate the male g-spot, also known as the prostate.

For nipple toys, the most basic is a metal nipple clamp or even a wooden clothespin. With added extras, such as weights on the ends, or ones that attach to cock rings or collars, the price will clearly go up. To test how it will feel without pulling up your shirt in the store, try the clamp on your ear lobe. You’re boyfriend may wonder why the clamp feels so good; it’s all those nerve ending that come on almost every nipple, regardless of the gender.

For penis toys, check out the cock ring description in the tantric sex article I wrote back in March. Cock rings can come with a mini vibrator to add to both of your pleasure.

When looking at these toys for the first time, I highly recommend going to a sex toy shop, if simply to look around and touch the different products. Most stores will have toys laid out for you to touch. If not, ask the clerk. Trust me, there is no greater disappointment then buying a dildo from the internet only to find out that that pleasant blue is really a horrid hot green and is sticky to the touch. There are awesome sex toy stores on the internet, but if you are unfamiliar with a particular toy, go look at it first, then buy it online.

This is just a brief introduction to sex toys; there are tons more, from ball harnesses and male masturbators, to different suction toys and BDSM gear. Need some inspiration? Grab that vibrating razor and go to town – after removing the head of course!

This article was written by Nicolette Pawlowski. Nicolette is a trained sexual health educator and a graduate student in EPS. All questions are from real readers. Keep ’em coming! Email: [email protected].