It’s Women’s History Month — if you’re a man, this may be news to you. You may even be freaking out. Is this kind of like the time you forgot that anniversary or Valentine’s Day? The answer is yes, and here’s my guide to making up for your mistake.
Firstly, you should spend some quality time with some of the women in your life. The best way to do this is to change the oil in their car (is that how you would word that? I wouldn’t know, I’m just a woman.)
Don’t just change the oil on your own — make sure to include the women in your life in these stereotypically “manly” activities. Take them out to the garage and explain to them step by step how to change their oil.
The best way to do this is to allow them to change their own oil — with your supervision, of course. If they start doing something just slightly different from how you would, make sure you take over for the rest of the activity so they can understand how to change it the right way 🙂
Governor Phony Nevers announces Wisconsin to participate in Leap Year 2023
When all is said and done, the women you’ve helped will be in such a better mood. This activity will also support Women’s History Month by making up for the times when women did not have the right to change their car oil.
Now, because of all the women you follow on Instagram posting about the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, you’re probably aware that many women in the U.S. have lost their right to abortion.
During this time of support for the women who surround you, make sure they understand how the Supreme Court works. This way, they can have educated discussions with their fellow women about the Dobbs decision.
Explain that the Supreme Court can’t take their fundamental rights away because of the Constitution. If the women seem skeptical of this explanation, make sure you let them know the public would revolt if they made a decision taking away women’s rights.
If the public were to march to the Supreme Court, they would actually just overturn a decision because of public controversy. This is especially relevant if women bring up the right to birth control — it’s impossible for the Supreme Court to take this right away because people would = angry.
This strategy is best used on women majoring in pre-law, going to law school or who are already lawyers.
After you’ve changed everyone’s oil and undertaken the extremely tiring task of explaining how the court systems work, it’s bound to be that time of the month for at least one of the women around you. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s Shark Week. Aunt Flo visiting? Code red? Okay, now you’re with me.
The best thing to support women’s raging hormones at this point is by identifying yourself as an ally. Tell them you understand exactly what they’re going through — it’s like being kicked in the balls, right?
Make sure they know that you know everything about a woman’s body. Here are some key facts to slip into conversation — women bleed one gallon of blood during their moody cycle, tampons have different sizes for different sized hoo has, they shouldn’t pee or poop with a tampon in because it will hurt and that the penis is more sensitive than the … wait, where is that thing again?
If you want to take your support to the next level and maybe even make a woman fall in love with you, it requires the woman to be actively having cramps. Sit down at eye level with the woman’s stomach and yell at it. “Stawp hurting her right freakin’ now,” you should say with a pout.
Women also probably don’t know much about the history of their oppression. To celebrate Women’s History Month, you should educate them with a few facts about sexism.
Make absolutely certain they know that they make 82 cents for every dollar you make. To make up for this gap, DO NOT pay them 18 cents for every hour you work. That would be demeaning.
Instead, give them salary negotiation tips for their next interview. Tell them to accept offers as quickly as possible, avoid asking for their salary in writing and to reveal how much money they would accept early on in the hiring process. This number should be close to what they earned in their last entry-level position.
If you have any female athletes in your peer group or even in your classes, tell them that they have equal rights to their male counterparts under Title IX. Even though their teams are never even close to as good as the male counterparts (take the University of Wisconsin men’s versus women’s hockey teams, for example), they should still receive equitable funding.
Most importantly, however, is to show support for women all month long. Make sure they are included in every conversation you have by explaining the specific details behind even basic topics. Assuming a woman knows nothing about changing her oil, how the red week of the calendar works on a biological level and about the intricacies of her rights is how you should celebrate this Women’s History Month.
