Hello everyone, I am beyond thrilled to announce I have just accepted my dream position working as Project Coordinator, Venture Capitalist, Senior Strategic Communicator, Creative CEO and Producer for Google. Yes, that Google. 

I am so excited to join the Google family, where I will be working alongside the Social Media Producer Scientist Team as well as the Economic and Search engine Optimization Meat Buyer Development Squad. 

I am hysterically-enthusiastic to be relocating to the Google headquarters, precisely 11 feet beneath the second “L” in the Hollywood sign. Of course first, I will be completing my onboarding, “on-board” of Jeff Bezos’ aeroponic flying submarine. Yes, it flies. 

So if you want to connect and or network/relationship build/conduct an informational interview before the high-powered Tesla light rail arrives to collect me, please shoot me an email and we’ll set something up!

“It’s like an online library:” Girl substitutes bachelor’s degree for social media infographicsUniversity of Wisconsin sophomore Addison Thompson was in a Zoom meeting with her academic advisor when she had an epiphany. Read…

And don’t worry, I will be documenting the entire process on my new print audio vlog, available on iPads I have discreetly hidden throughout the city in those old broken boxes near bus stops where newspapers used to live. 

I am so passionately eager to start my career journey that I can barely contain my drive to be an organized worker and great communicator!

Jk this is April fools, I found all these words on LinkedIn. I have received five job rejections in the past two days, plz hire me.

I. Will. Do. Anything.

Spring roll truck overtakes Punxsutawney Phil, declares winter overEvery city has its traditions. From parades to festivals to holidays, part of the comfort of a city is knowing Read…

I am proficient-ish in Excel and most of Adobe Suite and I’m not allergic to anything but red gummy lifesavers and that was when I was little, and I have double-jointed elbows and I am willing, nay, excited, to eat bugs if that is something a job would need for some reason. 

Plz connect with me on LinkedIn or like follow me on Twitter, I’ll do #followforfollow. Idk Twitter seems to be important in journalism.

Ok luv you, bye.

P.S. I can’t move home, my dad has gotten really into hanging up dead animal carcasses he finds. 

XOXO 

–Your future employee? (;