When we last left off in Spooky Story Corner, Bucky and Tommy (his name was Tommy right? It’s been a while) had switched bodies and magically found themselves on State Street, away from the under-abyss of the skeletal world. The duo are seeking the author of their spooky stories in order to fix their minor inconveniences of being in the wrong bodies, and hopefully restore the integrity of “Spooky Scary Skeletons” to the world. Will they achieve their goals? Likely, we like happy endings. Still, read on.

“OK, so I think if we just keep going straight, past the Qdoba, we’ll eventually find this office,” Tommy said, his furry legs sliding together as he hit his stride down State Street. 

The duo were right by one of the many CBD vending establishments on State by this point, but Bucky was furless and afraid.

Spooky Story Corner: Bucky’s planWhen we last left off in Spooky Story Corner, Tommy met Bucky Badger in the dark underworld, as he too Read…

“Tommy,” Bucky said. “I’m cold. I don’t understand how you humans can walk around in all this wet, especially in a bro tank.”

Tommy sighed. Bucky had quite an easy life in this furry suit. Tommy felt quite warm now by contrast.

“It’s OK, Bucky,” Tommy said. “You’ll get used to it. Experience enough Badger losses and your skin builds up to be incredibly tough.”

“Losing?” Bucky said. “I thought the last time we talked, the Badgers were undefeated.”

Tommy sighed.

“Precisely,” Tommy said.

Spooky Story Corner part one: The ghost of midterms pastIt was a dark and stormy day in 3650 humanities. Suzy Snowden, wary of the dark spooks, just wanted to Read…

By this point, the pair was all the way up to Sencha. Tommy craved a royal tea latte, but kept strolling past due to his utter determination to become human again.

Finally, the duo reached The Badger Herald’s slightly grimy, but lovable office. The paper has to pay rent, after all. Bucky went to open the door, but his attempt was futile. The door was locked shut.

“Oh noes!” Bucky exclaimed. “What are we ever to do?”

“Is it after 5 p.m.?” Tommy asked.

“Yes.”

“Door is closed after 5, Bucky. We have to Slack #squad to get in.”

“What does that mean?”

“I think we just yell ‘At channel, door please.”

Spooky Story Corner: The menacing gargleWhen we last left off Spooky Story Corner, a spooky scary skeleton pulled Tommy Turnwell into another dimension with his Read…

“Huh, weird,” Bucky said. Heaving air into his belly so much that it began to show through the bro tank, Bucky began to yell. “At channel!” he exclaimed. “Door please!”

Even with the scream, the door remained unopened. Tommy tried to screech as well, but his sounds were muffled through the fur. Our heroes, dejected, looked once more into each other’s eyes, feeling now even magical tears would not save them. 

“Well, Bucky,” Tommy said. “I guess I’ll be furry fur, fur, furever!”

Tommy could barely escape his whimpers between words. Shivering, Bucky began to accept his furless life as well.

Hump Day: “Thotumn” is upon us, time to celebrateAs Sept. 20 segued into Sept. 21, many mourned the passing of “Hot Girl Summer.” Megan Thee Stallion’s coined term Read…

The pair turned their back on the door and began to creep away, perhaps to get a few royal tea lattes. Suddenly, the door creaked open behind them.

“Whoa, hey guys this is cool,” a girl dress solely in Pink sweats with layers and layers of bags under her eyes said. 

Bucky and Tommy turned around, face to face with the creator of Spooky Story Corner.

“Angela,” Tommy said, “Is that you?”

The girl yawned. She always yawns.

‘Bucky Banged Your Mom’ art is real and I can’t handle itLet’s face it, many University of Wisconsin students Google Bucky Badger from time to time. Bucky’s face is just so Read…

“No, this is Patrick,” she said. “Jk, jk of course this is Angela.”

Bucky and Tommy smiled. They hoped she would rid them of their furry issues.

“Alright Angela,” Bucky said, “We need your help. As you know, you have trapped us in each other’s bodies. This is not fun. I, for one, am very cold. I don’t understand why Tommy wore a bro tank. We beg you to set us back to our normal selves. We plead, we will never play ‘Spooky Scary Skeletons’ ever again. We promise.”

By this point, Bucky and Tommy were on their knees, begging. Hesitant at first, Angela opened her mouth to speak.

“Guys,” Angela said, “That’s totally fine. I need to wrap this story up in this column anyways, and I’m pretty sure I’m close to 650 words. That’s the goal, as we know.”

“Yes!” The two exclaimed.

With a snap of her fingers, Angela magically transferred the two back to their original bodies. Tommy dissipated, as with Spooky Story Corner complete, he had nowhere left to exist. Bucky went back to being an adorable mascot, electively choosing not to attend future football games. Angela took a dang nap — it was needed. 

Fin.