Everyone is talking about the “alt-right,” but guess what? The “alt-right” is so 2016. These are the up-and-coming political movements for 2017, so sign up now while they’re still cool.
1. Anarchist Punks
Fuck the government. It’s just us against the system, and this party doesn’t listen to anyone except for the punk icons like Henry Rollins and Milo Aukerman. This party is for nonposers only.
If you’re a supporter of the left, then Left-core is a dank new movement because they take all of the styles of the left and mesh it into one sick style.
3. Occupy This New Condo
The Occupy Wall Street campaign has come a long way and has matured into the realm of real estate. Occupy This New Condo now while the market is strong and it has all the amenities you need.
4. The RepubliCANTS
A group of republicans got upset at their party and decided to branch off to form the RepubliCANTS. They support everything opposed to the Republican Party on the basis that they can’t do it.
5. The LIEberals
Similar to the RepubliCANTS, the LIEberals were a group of liberals who branched off because they were sick and tired of all the lies in politics. The LIEberals are still undecided on a platform.
6. The “Fuck Bitches, Get Money” Party
It’s a simple economy: fuck bitches THEN get money. If you want to live your life as a badass, then make sure to vote in the upcoming FBGM primary and choose who you want as president: Jonny Manziel or Dan Bilzerian.
7. The Malt-right
This is just the “alt-right” but with malted milkshakes dumped on their heads so people have an even more obvious reason not to take them seriously.
8. The Bee Party
Use bees to fight your political opponents. Join the Bee Party.
9. The CeeLo Green Party
CeeLo Green is not only an amazing singer and pioneering hip-hop artist from Atlanta, but is also the leader of a political party. Enjoy both his hits like “Fuck You,” “Liberation” and “Cell Therapy” as CeeLo runs for the highest office in the land, whether he knows it or not.