I discovered something big this week, but it was a terrible tragedy.
The Wisconsin Institute of Discovery’s bathroom was not nearly as futuristic as I would’ve hoped.
In a building that was built on the idea to propel this campus into the future, they seemed to have missed a spot. The Wisconsin Institute of Discovery building was designed to be technologically relevant for the next one hundred years, but the bathroom is a thing of the past.
There isn’t much going on, at least in the men’s room, upon entry — just an open space with two urinals and two stalls that could easily have fit one more of each comfortably.
The stalls are ergonomic enough to take a comfortable dump and they are designed for optimal privacy. This was just about the only special part of this shit room.
A stand-out issue was the serious lack of automated devices that should be prevalent in this spaceship of a building. As the serious germaphobe that I am, I was really looking forward to a hands-free dump, but some hot shot engineer must have forgotten to install it.
Also, as any normal millennial does, I took out my phone to look at memes while I poop and there was no cell service, LTE or even UW Net to connect to. That’s right, in the most technologically-savvy building on campus, there was no internet in the bathroom.
This bathroom was a huge upset, relatively speaking. All of the standards for a normal bathroom were there, and this is not necessarily a bad bathroom. On the standards that this should be a bathroom of the future, however, it is a huge let down.
Temperature: Just right
Traffic: Little to none
Stalls: Could hold more, perfect privacy
Toilet Paper: Eh
Sinks: Manual faucets
Dryers: One paper towel dispenser, one hand’s free dryer
Cell Service: No (WHY)
Germaphobe friendly: Fuck that
Technologically savvy: Nope