The college experience wouldn’t be complete without a shot of shitty liquor.
From taking a painful pull of Fireball before stumbling into Camp Randall to chasing a mouthful of Fleischmann’s with flat Diet Sprite on your way to a house party, bottom-shelf booze is a staple of the collegiate lifestyle.
But among this dismal tier of intoxicants, does any brand reign supreme? A Badger Herald survey says yes: Burnett’s.
We did a quick sweep of some area liquor stores, asking them what their top-selling alcohol is. Here’s what we found:
Riley’s Wines Of The World
The convenient spot on the corner of North Broom Street and West Gorham Street caters to undergrads, and the top selling alcohol at Riley’s is Burnett’s Vodka.
Badger Liquor
Located on State Street, Badger Liquor reported their top seller as vodka — just plain vodka.
Regent Street Liquor
Regent Street Liquor, located on Regent Street, said their top selling alcohol is Keystone Light.
Vineyard Liquor
Located next to Church Key, Vineyard Liquor keeps it clear with Svedka Vodka as their No. 1-selling alcohol.
University Liquor
Continuing the trend, University Liquor proudly boasts Burnett’s flavored vodka as their top-selling product.
It would be a lie to say the results are surprising. Cheap beer and spirits better suited as medical disinfectants than getting freshmen drunk are mainstays of the collegiate chemical diet, and it seems Madison students support the trend with pride.
Taking five shots of Peach Burnett’s to the face is practically a birthright upon admission – but don’t stop there! Burnett’s boasts 36 decidedly untrustworthy flavors to sample, including sugar cookie, sweet tea and grapefruit.
So next time you lift a bottle of sickly sweet Burnett’s to your lips, don’t grimace. Take pride in the fact that you’re supporting a proud Badger tradition.
Teymour Tomsyck contributed reporting to this article.
