Most people do not walk out of Star Wars movies expecting to meet a real-life R2D2 or Darth Vader strolling down the street. But for some reason when it comes to porn, folks perceive an accurate depiction of reality.
Without proper, comprehensive, pleasure-inclusive sex education, which most people in the U.S. lack, many seeking knowledge about their sexuality often turn to pornography. Unfortunately, pornography fails to depict accurate, healthy sex in several arenas. Watching a sexy flick solo or with a sweetie can make things hot and heavy, but those who enjoy porn should be aware of the fallacies that accompany the phalluses.
In addition, mainstream straight porn hardly represents the entire body of erotic film available online. Simply clicking the first video that pops up on “PornHub” does not promise high-quality or ethical content. Exploring by searching certain terms and researching different sorts of porn opens some incredibly sexy possibilities.
Sadly, some pornography also depicts the reality of our society’s ingrained racism and sexism by degrading actors representative of marginalized communities. Select and consume carefully; as with any entertainment medium, pornography has equal potential for pleasure and oppression.
Myth #1: Erections stay rock-hard for ages, and orifices glisten constantly without the assistance of lubricant.
Every penis in porn appears enormous and maintains a massive boner for the entire duration of the film, thanks to the magic of video editing. The actors playing these roles are only human — they go flaccid or fail to ejaculate just as any penis might.
Porn simply removes these moments, and the result is an illusion of the endless erection. Penises are hardly alone in this — vaginas and buttholes featured in porn remain wet enough for penetration, despite the absence of a lube bottle and the inability of the anus to self-lubricate. Real-life folks require time or lube to get satisfactorily wet. Do not be fooled by porn — stay slippery by keeping lubricant handy during intimacy.
Myth #2: Flawless orgasms — often featuring female ejaculation or impressive distance achievements — occur simultaneously and with ease.
Orgasms almost never occur simultaneously during real sex. The impressive climaxes of pornography assume every person with a vagina has the ability to ejaculate, and that every penis jizzes spectacularly. In fact, only about 10 to 50 percent of women have the ability to ejaculate, and this amount varies widely between a few drops and a cup. Even women who do find themselves able to ejaculate may only do so occasionally, and with certain stimulation.
Similarly, penises in porn tend to forcefully ejaculate large amounts of semen, but these orgasms often incorporate some “movie magic” to increase the amount and velocity of goo.
Myth #3: Conversations about barrier methods and birth control are unnecessary and turn-offs.
Condoms are rarely used in porn, and conversations about safer sex are completely absent— because there are no consequences in porn. Real life sex, however, does bring consequences: unplanned pregnancies, STIs and HIV. The absence of discussions surrounding safety tricks people into believing consent and conversation are turn-offs. If one cannot have these conversations, then no sex should be had. In addition, discussing upcoming sexy time can get us plenty hot and bothered!
Myth #4: Everyone is waxed, shaven and plucked smooth.
Watching pornography one would nearly think pubic hair never existed. Though many people enjoy the absence of pubic hair, plenty of others let theirs grow. Body hair is far more varied than pornography would have us believe, and besides, it’s natural.
Myth #5: No awkward or funny moments occur in good sex — every moment is serious and heated.
Sex in porn never includes weird sounds, queefs, farts, awkward in-between moments or even giggling. The reality is these things happen and they make sex human. The best sex is with someone who can laugh as legs get tangled and bras struggle to come undone and perfect sex includes imperfect moments.
Embrace the truth of having a human body that gurgles and oozes and squelches; this same body experiences every nuanced pleasure of intimacy, and gives us the power to enjoy closeness with others.
