When people ask me where I am from, my answer usually elicits one of three reactions. Firstly, fellow residents of the Fox Valley region typically sneer and say something to the effect of, “Menasha? You mean, Metrasha”?

Then there are the residents of Wisconsin who simply have not heard of my hometown of about 17,000, the pride of which is a gas station. (Yes, there is a place called the Pride of Menasha. Yes, it is quite literally a gas station.) For those people, I usually say that I live right next door to Appleton and halfway between Green Bay and Oshkosh.

But, b’gosh, what if they have not even heard of Oshkosh? What if the only thing they know about Green Bay is that it’s where the Packers play, but they don’t have a clue where it is? Well, that’s when I utilize one of the skills that only Sconnies and Michiganders possess. I use my left hand to teach the geography of my state.

Because I don’t have a smart phone even though it’s 2012, nor do I carry a map with me at all times, I, like many other Wisconsinites, use the most basic resource I have on hand.

I proudly display the back of my left hand and point to a spot just southwest of where the thumb and index finger come together to form the hypothetical Bay of Green Bay. That’s Menasha. The good teacher that I am, I make sure to point out other landmarks for context.

I trace my right finger down the thumb almost to my wrist and there, ladies and gentlemen, is Milwaukee. I head directly “west” and stop when I am lined up with my middle finger, and that’s the place where Bucky lives.

The knuckle of my middle finger roughly constitutes either Steven’s Point or Wausau, or what I like to call the cut off for “Up North.”

Now at this point, I am pretty sure I can hear the haters saying, “Wisconsin doesn’t even look exactly like a hand! Why don’t you just tell people you’re from northeast of Madison”?

While I agree that Wisconsin does not form a perfect hand, it would be na?ve to say it does not at least resemble one. Furthermore, it’s a system that works.

Let’s not pretend you kids from the ‘burbs of Chicago and the Twin Cities know much about the geography of Wisconsin outside of where Madison, Milwaukee and maybe La Crosse and Eau Claire are.

Also, there’s no need for you guys to attempt to fashion your hands into the shape of your respective states, because in 90 percent of cases wherever you came from is “just 20 to 30 minutes” outside of the big city.

Sure, I could just tell everyone my hometown is just a two-hour drive northeast of Madison, but can they really picture where that is? Simply put, the hand method is precise, accurate and efficient at teaching a lesson in Wisconsin geography.

Holly Hartung ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism and communication arts. If ya have ideas for future Dairyland Down-low columns about Wiscaaansin culture, send ’em her way.