New romantic comedy “The Back-Up Plan,” dares to do the unthinkable — highlight Jennifer Lopez’s enlarged midsection rather than her ass. While her badonkadonk does make a special guest appearance — an entire scene is devoted to it, for heaven’s sake –“The Back-Up Plan” centers more around romance. Full of humorless jokes, predictable plot twists and an overall message of “parenting equals bad,” “The Back-Up Plan” falls flat.
Meet Zoe (Jennifer Lopez, “Bordertown”), an attractive woman tired of trying to find “the one.” Zoe owns a pet shop and has everything going according to plan in her life: a good business, decent looks, great friends and even a dog in a makeshift wheelchair, and yet something’s missing. Realizing her biological clock is ticking, Zoe decides she’s tired of being alone and wants a baby. So, what’s the next logical step? Why, artificial insemination, of course.
With everything in her life going right — and a baby hopefully on the way — Zoe bumps into Stan (Alex O’Loughlin, “Whiteout”). Stan is gasp the one, and it is this relationship dynamic which carries the film. First struggling with how to tell Stan she’s pregnant, Zoe then has to come to terms with the fact that he isn’t leaving. However, Stan’s vow not to stay is tested throughout the film, caused by aspects of the pregnancy and Zoe’s own distrust, resulting in a rather tumultuous relationship.
Sounds like a good plot for a movie, right? Wrong. “The Back-Up Plan” tries too hard to get laughs and oftentimes comes off as forced rather than funny. The few moments that may have been slightly humorous fail, as they are so disgusting that the audience is left cringing instead of dying of laughter. Take, for instance, the birthing scene. Member of a single mother’s group, Zoe, who drags along Stan, gets forced to partake in a water birth. The scene, in and of itself, is funny through the portrayal of this over-the-top pregnant woman — however, the overacting and sheer ridiculousness of the birth cause members in the audience to feel more uncomfortable than anything, lending itself to an overall traumatic experience.
The dynamic between Lopez and O’Loughlin is also missing a beat. The two, while perfect for one another according to the script, lack the chemistry a couple of this magnitude would certainly possess. The one sex scene hence is hot not due to any passion between the characters, but the attractiveness of the actors themselves. The two seem more like good friends than a couple falling in love. It’s hard to imagine any romantic comedy being successful when the main characters do not even belong together.
Next, the film tries to incorporate a plethora of plot twists to make itself different from the average chick flick. Little does writer Kate Angelo (“What About Brian”) know, but these so-called twists are anything but unpredictable. Moments where the audience is supposed to be shocked don’t exist as each turn was expected from the get-go, and the movie itself doesn’t have the humor to carry them out.
The most surprising aspect of the film, however, would be the message it sends across: having children blows. That’s right — a movie meant to be more pro than anti-parenthood, skips the pro and blatantly tells audiences not to do it. Through the combination of watching Zoe’s exaggerated hormones take over her life, the most terrifying birthing scene ever filmed or even the words of experienced parents, Mona (Michaela Watkins, TV’s “The New Adventures of Old Christine”) and the Playground Dad (Anthony Anderson, “Law & Order”) — the joy that may come out of having children is completely obliterated. There are no scenes to be found that embrace the concepts of pregnancy or parenthood in a positive aspect, leading to yet another failure on the film’s behalf.
While “The Back-Up Plan” does fail at being a particularly noteworthy piece of cinematography, the film itself isn’t entirely horrendous nor is it as unsuccessful as some of Lopez’s past flicks (think “Gigli”). The film could have definitely benefited from taking its concept and running with it, rather than turning that concept into a negative. However, with its overwhelming cuteness, “The Back-Up Plan” succeeds at fulfilling its purpose as a date movie.
2 1/2 stars out of 5.
