Earlier this month, “Jay and Silent Bob” big cheese Kevin Smith was taken off a Southwest Airlines flight for being too fat, heralding a slew of quips poking fun not only at the director’s physique, but also at his latest endeavor, “Cop Out.” Unfortunately for Smith, “Cop Out” does just fine to mar his filmography, standing alone from the allegations that a distended gut is a security threat.

Bruce Willis (“Surrogates”) and Tracy Morgan (TV’s “30 Rock”) star as a pair of dysfunctional, down-on-luck NYPD cops who, after a botched drug sting leaves them in the throes of a 30-day suspension, take justice into their own hands and exorcise their personal demons. Willis struggles to pay for his daughter’s (Michelle Trachtenberg, TV’s “Mercy”) dream wedding while Tracy Morgan’s personal insecurity leads him to falsely believe that his wife (Rashida Jones, TV’s “Parks and Recreation”) has been unfaithful.

Their clumsy brand of vigilante justice is targeted at a Mexican drug kingpin named Poh Boy, who ends up with the vintage baseball card Willis plans to sell to finance his daughter’s wedding. As you can probably surmise, “Cop Out” isn’t much for plot. Screenwriters Robb and Mark Cullen (TV’s “Las Vegas”) seem to have as much interest in story arc as their “Twilight” namesakes, loading the script with not only the expected unrealistic fare — tattooed drug dealers aimlessly opening fire on police officers in broad daylight, etc. — but also with all the usual stereotypes of the “aw, shucks” cop duo. So at least Smith can wash his hands of the screenplay.

Tracy Morgan, however, lends his unique style of gregarious musings and is the film’s lone bright spot. He frequently repeats lines from other classic cop flicks, including a well timed “King Kong ain’t got nothin’ on me!” talks about the physical love for his wife in hilariously graphic terms and even befriends an inanimate teddy bear.

But these glimpses of past Morgan characters like Brian Fellow or Tracy Jordan really only work when they’re balanced by a rational, staid counterpart. Instead of Liz Lemon and all her foibles, audiences will get Bruce Willis trying to be funny and Seann William Scott (“Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs”) straining to recreate the magic of Stifler.

The supporting roles are equally disappointing and uninspired, and the Cullen brothers miss opportunities for easy laughs in the faceless henchmen. The film is already stacked with recognizable Hollywood names (Adam Brody, Kevin Pollak and Susie Essman, to name a few), but is it so much to ask to have a cameo from Horatio Sanz?

Scenes of the inner workings of Poh Boy’s drug ring are populated with everybody loosely throwing around “homes,” “ese” and “‘cuz,” and not in an exaggerated, humorous way. It is precisely because of these typical and expected lines that we laugh when Ben Stiller asks “?D?nde est? el biblioteca, Pedro?” in “Dodgeball.”

On paper, “Cop Out” has a lot going for it. It’s a star-studded, R-rated potential yuckster whose laughs could be derived from its own cornucopia of absurdity. “Bad Santa” is like this, and so is “Step Brothers.” But alas, the well-documented paralysis of stereotypical screenwriting prevails. Let Morgan do his thing, and you will get “30 Rock.” Rein him in with a plot seen dozens of times before, and you will get “Cop Out.”

In short, “Cop Out” lacks that awareness of other Smith films that makes them not only tolerable, but also enjoyable. Jay and Silent Bob were characters created entirely with the consciousness that they would be pop culture commodities. The police officers in “Cop Out” are basically representations of the way 12 year olds think of cops.

For “Cop Out,” it was only a matter of time before Morgan was going to receive a swift kick to the groin from a ten-year-old carjacker, which he does approximately 40 minutes in. This is the type of humor the film boasts over and over again until the credits mercifully roll. “Cop Out,” therefore, won’t make you laugh, but it will make you cry. Twice, in fact: Once when the movie begins, and once more when your popcorn runs out.

1.5 stars out of 5.