The attempt to bring an exciting best-selling children’s fantasy novel to the big screen was disappointing enough. What is more disappointing, however, were the results: “Inkheart” barely squeezed by the humorless romantic comedy, “Bride Wars.” Note that “Bride Wars” has already been out for three weeks.
The adaptation of “Inkheart” clumsily falters through its incoherent depiction of Cornelia Funke’s ingenious creativity, causing viewers’ head scratches and loud yawns for the audience. Despite the candid moral messages for children, the cursory encounter with fantastical CGI creatures pulled from the likes of “Peter Pan” and “The Wizard of Oz” and the backing of B-list cast members, the obviously futile attempts to breathe life into the depthless script remain just that: futile.
Directed by Ian Softley (“K-PAX”) and written by David Lindsay-Abaire (“Robots”), “Inkheart” follows an all-too-predictable journey to save a hapless loved one while preserving mankind from the malevolent antagonist set out to destroy the world, ending with a showcase of the entire cast in an unnecessarily confusing and weak finale.
Brendan Fraser stars as Mo Folchart, who is not only a doting father to a teenage Meggie (Eliza Bennett, “Nanny McPhee”), but also a Silvertongue, meaning he possesses the ability to animate any book’s words by reading out loud. Together they adopt a nomadic lifestyle, scouring the globe for a rare and out-of-print copy of “Inkheart,” a second-rate novel thought to hold captive the maternal Folchart of the family.
We learn that in the past, Mo enjoyed a night of reading “Inkheart” out loud for his wife (Sienna Guillory, “Eragon”) and his then-infant daughter, until Capricorn (Andy Serkis, “The Prestige”), the quintessential sinister Hollywood antagonist, is read out of the book and terrorizes the family. Dustfinger (Paul Bettany, “The Secret Life of Bees”), an egocentric pyromaniac and fellow “Inkheart” escapee, saves Mo from the whim of Capricorn’s saber, yet Mo’s wife was lost to the book amid the chaos. Fast-forward nine years and Capricorn is suited up, shaven and has adjusted remarkably to modernity in a quiet castle nestled within the woodlands of Italy, assisted by an army of dim metrosexual-meets-goth, rifle-wielding hoodlums fulfilling his every whim. Meanwhile, Dustfinger has adopted a horned attack ferret and meanders the streets in a grimy green trench coat, motivated to search for a Silvertongue to send him back to “Inkheart.”
The plot accordingly inspires its preteen audience with moral lessons from Capricorn’s 30-second chronicle of rags to riches to the importance of family and the concern of karma as a result of Dustfinger’s selfish motivations. Yet, the inspiration stops abruptly with the script’s consistent failure for creating unconvincing portrayals of characters an audience can feel neither happy nor frightened for. Rather than immersing the audience in an emotional “find mommy and save the world adventure,” “Inkheart” squanders potentially captivating scenes with a sense of hurriedness coupled with unconvincing performances and attempts to compensate for their inadequacies by introducing the audience to a deluge of new characters who are insignificant to the plot and dart in and out of the storyline.
It takes effort to tear up during a scene of embrace between a woman in her mid-twenties and her supposed 12-year-old daughter, and it’s difficult to understand why a children’s movie would depict Mo’s aunt (Helen Mirren, “The Queen”) appearing only in the beginning and finale without contributing to the plot until her grand entrance into the finale on a unicorn.
Admittedly, the few fleeting scenes of The Queen’s struggles to traverse Italy’s mountainous terrain by foot does provide for some rare comic relief. Blame the script when the only emotion you’ll feel during this movie is guilt that your sentiment toward the characters and their circumstances is indifference. You may feel remorse reading about an elderly woman’s priceless bibliophilic livelihood being shredded and burned and for the image of a 12-year-old girl held captive against her will while peering straight at the tip of a dagger, but after you watch these scenes on screen, answer honestly, were you indifferent? If you were, don’t feel so guilty because it appeared as though Meggie was the least bit concerned about her own life anyway.
Having watched “The Mummy” series, Brendan Fraser in the role of parent — let alone any role — is the precursor to a headache and a disaster of a movie.
2 stars out of 5.
