Since this is my last column, since any new DVD releases
worth reviewing have already been covered in theaters, since summer-themed
movies seemed trite and since everyone already knows which summer blockbuster
hits to watch for (the new “Indiana Jones,” “WALL-E,” and
“The Dark Knight”), I’m going to reflect on the movies I’ve reviewed
for this column as well as all the rest.
Although several movies came close, the mark of film
perfection — those five holy stars — remain pristinely untouched. A good
critic ought not dole out perfect scores willy-nilly or they’d soon lose their
supreme value. What then, are films worthy of being ranked the “best of
the best?” In my (somewhat humble) opinion, and based only on the few
hundred movies I’ve seen and can recall, here are a few categories of “the
best.”
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Best Director
Perhaps I’m particularly harsh on directors, but typically
speaking they’re simply good or they’re bad — the bad ones almost always
continue spewing garbage while the good ones seldom make a flop. (Though one
need not look further than Guillermo del Toro and Ang Lee for respective
exceptions.) While Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, Clint Eastwood and the like
are some of the most consistently impressive directors, Tim Burton, Hayao
Miyazaki, Sophia Coppola and especially the notoriously eccentric Lars von
Trier are among the directors who have managed to add a distinguished and
nuanced variety to film in ways much more interesting, yet less acclaimed, than
the Coen brothers’ simple lack-of-narrative tricks.
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Best Composer
Perhaps one of the most underappreciated aspects of any film
is the score, which is essentially the pulse that sustains the rest of the
film. Although it’s been proven a film can thrive with a minimalist score or
even no score at all, the industry’s top composers are truly modern-day Mozarts
in their own artistic right. Soundtracks are capable of becoming incredibly
potent cultural agents; the Imperial March and the “Jaws” theme are
extreme examples, but even most people today would recognize many songs from “Harry
Potter” or “The Lord of the Rings.” Aside from the industry
legend, John Williams, some of the most striking contemporary scores include
Philip Glass’s work on “The Hours,” Howard Shore’s “The Lord of
the Rings” trilogy scores and Hans Zimmer’s work on “Pirates of the
Caribbean.”
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Tear Jerkers
There is no contest that the two saddest movies I’ve ever
seen are “Schindler’s List” and “Hotel Rwanda.” What could
be sadder than genocide? A close call and sadder than most war movies,
“Letters to Iwo Jima” is also quite a downer. Lastly, the saddest
nonhistoric film goes to “Dancer in the Dark,” in which a young
mother (played by Bj?rk) losing her eyesight falls victim to the basest depths
of human greed and hate. “House of Sand and Fog,” “Nobody
Knows” and “Requiem for a Dream” are also mercilessly depressing
with their depictions of humans struggling to merely exist in this bleak world
of ours.
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Funnies
While humor is arguably much more subjective than gloom, a
few of the better comedies include Woody Allen’s “Annie Hall,”
perhaps the only movie ever to be based off a board game, “Clue,” the
very dark-humored “The Upside of Anger,” the existentialist “I
Heart Huckabees” and horror-comedy “Shaun of the Dead.”
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Scariest
When it comes down to sheer gross-out and the I-can’t-believe-what-I’m-seeing
factor, Alexander Aja’s “The Hills Have Eyes” remake and “High
Tension” are unbeatable (and almost unbearable), though “The
Descent” will have you scared shitless as well. Also high on cheap yet
effective scares are 2004’s “Dawn of the Dead” and “Wolf
Creek.”
For a more classic effect, “Rear Window” and its
modern adaptation “Disturbia” deliver a tense, creepy paranoia, while
classics “The Shining” and “Silence of the Lambs” are
timelessly unnerving. And although nearly all the subsequent Asian-horror
remakes have been terrible, “The Ring” remains one of the creepiest
movies I’ve ever seen.
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Best Animated
While there are plenty of great animated films by Disney,
Pixar, Dreamworks and other animation studios (“The Lion King,”
“Mulan” and “Finding Nemo” among the better ones), the
category carries the unfortunate stigma of being somewhat childish. While this
has yet to be defied in American cinema, Japanese directors Hayao Miyazaki and
Satoshi Kon have shown time and time again that animated movies can carry very
potent adult themes, amounting to more than childish fun. Notable works from
Miyazaki include “Howl’s Moving Castle” and “Princess
Mononoke,” which tackle themes of war and the destruction of the environment,
while Kon’s “Millenium Actress” and “Paprika” are
cautionary stories about blurring fantasy and reality too much.
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Well, there you have it. I hope you’ve added at least a few
of these to your Netflix queue. If not, you’re probably too busy watching Adam
Sandler or Will Ferrell movies anyway. Thanks, dear readers, for tolerating my
opinionated column this last year.
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Have a pleasant
summer, and keep in touch with questions, recommendations, denunciations and
whatnot at [email protected].
