"Everything to Say
and Do on the 1st Date to Guarantee The Automatic 2nd Date" by Victorya
Michaels Rogers, author of "Finding a Man Worth Keeping," is a supposed textbook
of dating, one where the advice ranges from insulting to disgusting to obvious
and back again. Rogers
attempts to guide women who are mystified by the opposite sex to convince men
to ask them out on dates and, you guessed it, second dates.

At times, "2nd Date"
reads like a coach's pep talk. Unfortunately, this is one lecture that fails to
inspire.

"You're not a
dreamer," Rogers
writes. "You're a doer! Kudos to you!"

Needless to say, self-esteem
boosters like these are far from stimulating. In fact, the result of reading
this book is far from a night of pleasant dreams, but instead an acute feeling
of nausea.

Later in her book, Rogers suggests that a
woman be confident in herself around men and that she be mindful of her values
and self-worth.

"When you feel good
about who you are," Rogers
writes, "you will be turned off and lose interest in anyone who treats you less
than you deserve to be treated."

While this is worthy
advice, the majority of the dating textbook is unhelpful and distasteful.
Though the book was published Oct. 17, the principles expressed throughout are
extremely traditional. Rogers
maintains the view that the man should do all pursuing, date-making and paying.

"You always want to
feel slightly indebted to your man," Rogers
writes. "It takes a confident woman to allow a man to be her leader and
provider, but I know you have it in you."

Rogers also claims there are two types of women in
the world: women who will execute this advice without being told to, and women
who will be offended at even the thought of doing so, but very few in between.

Of course, it's
difficult to imagine anyone taking Rogers'
advice seriously.

"If you want a
certain type of profession, perhaps you can get a job in that field so you can
meet men in your line of work!" Rogers
writes.

So, listen up, girls:
Base your career and, let's just say it, the rest of your life around the men
you hope to meet! Sure, that sounds like a really brilliant idea, Rogers.

Rogers also treats men like beings that women cannot
relate to. Instead, she makes the "pursuit of a male" more like an episode of
Animal Planet with advice like, "pull out your calendar and block out no less
than one hour a week for exclusive male watching."

Are men some newly
discovered species that we have to study them? Sitting alone in a restaurant
and taking notes on other people's behavior sounds like stalking. For anyone confused
on the concept, this is not healthy behavior.

Furthermore, much of
Rogers' advice
is insultingly obvious. She writes, "A daily splash of water and dab of
deodorant can do wonders to reveal your hidden beauty and improve your appeal
to men."

Evidently Rogers isn't already aware
that boys are not appreciative of smelly armpits. The author also spends an entire
contrived chapter suggesting that a woman glance in the mirror before leaving
home and wear clothes that are tasteful and appealing.

Then again, it seems
Rogers has a considerable amount of experience
with the male species; she has previously worked as a Hollywood
agent and has dated many men in the entertainment world. She calls her ways
with men a science, and her experiences have undeniably been valuable to her
success in the dating world. However, Rogers'
endless mentions of the celebrities she went out with become tedious.

"I was pursued by a
rock star, a movie star, a gospel singer, a navy pilot, a doctor … a preacher
and an athlete," Rogers
writes in just one bragging instance.

As for the novel's
structure, "2nd Date" seems to have taken notes from the academic world. Chapter
summaries and creative writing topics conclude each of the ten chapters, making
the book feel like a high school reading assignment. Additionally, phrases
like, "No way, José" and "Don't chase men; no, no, no" are reminiscent of an
eighth grader's writing nuances. The lack of editing, combined with the useless
advice, makes this advice book a chore to read.

Completely absent
from "2nd Date," however, was the notion of surviving life without a man. Rogers fails to mention
that dateless weeks do not mean the world stops turning. In the Addendum — the
chapter following the Epilogue (Does the book ever end?) — Rogers writes about another kind of
relationship, one with God. The chapter does not mention men or dating at all,
which is a refreshing twist. Her abrupt shift to God is heartfelt but,
unfortunately, it stands in such contrast to the ideals of the rest of the
novel that it is difficult to absorb. It's not easy to read about the love of
God from the same person who wrote several chapters earlier, "Clothing defines
us."

The back cover of "2nd
Date" displays a promise, "Your Dating Life Is About to Change Forever …
Guaranteed!" There are not enough redeeming qualities in this book to call it
anything but disappointing. I want my money back.

1/2 out of 5 stars