Due to the seemingly unrelated trailers that schizophrenically advertised the film, one could expect "Good Luck Chuck" to be about one of three things. From one depicting Chuck's many beautiful love-interests, Dane Cook's newest romp appeared to be a by-the-book romantic comedy. A completely different trailer depicted "Chuck" as a slapstick Cook vehicle sporting a mighty attractive, yet endearingly clumsy, Jessica Alba. Or possibly — as the more jaded (or prurient) viewers would be inclined to believe — "Chuck" is simply about showing off Alba in her panties. Sadly, that is indeed the most accurate way to describe it. Despite the incongruous advertising, the aptly named — as investors would be fortunate to recoup a fraction of the movie's costs — "Good Luck Chuck" knows exactly what type of movie it is right from the first frame. After a youthful game of spin the bottle, ending in the hexing of our protagonist Charlie, played by Dane Cook, we cut to a very confident, yet unwilling to commit, adult Charlie. Opening with the energetic sexual endeavors of Chuck's newest enamored beauty, her topless figure shocks the audience into consciousness barely a few minutes into the film. And this trend continues throughout. "Good Luck Chuck" is a sex comedy, but unfortunately, not a good one. Being the reason many fanboys will flock to opening night, Jessica Alba appears early on as Cam Wexler, a clumsy, penguin-obsessed (yes, penguin) guest at the wedding of Charlie Logan's recent ex. Shortly after meeting Cam and discovering her unfortunate gravity for unlucky happenings (Wait! She's the opposite of that lucky Charlie! Like it says in the witty title! Genius!), Charlie is alerted that he is indeed a lucky man. His newly married ex informs Chuck — and soon to his dismay, the rest of the nation's females via the Internet — that every woman who has sex with "Good Luck Chuck" will find love with the next man they meet. And so it goes. After numerous sex montages done Brady Bunch, picture-in-picture style, Chuck becomes bored with the resulting very agenda-driven women, and yearns for the lovable — and dangerous, mind you — quirks of our heroine. Predictably, Cam has trouble trusting Charlie, forcing the wacky faces, quirky voices and tiring loveable phrases of Dane Cook to come save the day. Assuming "Good Luck Chuck" was just an hour or two excuse for Cook to do his thing, it could have been quite funny; the physicality of his (for now extinct) stand-up career demands a viewable medium. However, the film is split into two parts that feel like entirely different movies: the brief interludes of comedy between the sex, with Jessica Alba either hurting herself or almost naked, and then the second half of the movie, thoroughly less entertaining and inexplicably unrelated. Cam's ability to almost kill herself as well as nearly every suitor within visible distance is magically and conveniently forgotten, and Cook — aside from a humorous bit involving a penguin suit — sadly limits his "Cookisms." In regard to plot development, the countless other women hounding our loveable hero apparently forget about him. Charlie is freed to fall in love and deal with the troubling issue that as soon as he gets "physical" with Cam, his women-attracting curse will result in her marrying someone else. This movie is ridiculous. Of course, there are other reasons to regret shelling out 10 bucks for this one. While the sex comedy bits are funny, they can't even compete with recent highlights in the genre, such as "Knocked Up" and "Wedding Crashers." Seeing Cook itch certain parts of his body might elicit a giggle or two, but it isn't a pretty sight. Who's going to see "Chuck" for Cook's sex appeal? Also, Cook and director Mark Helfrich — a veteran of such raucous fare — should have known fat jokes are uncomfortably funny the first time, and shameless and tiresome the second. And the dominant presence of Charlie's disgusting sidekick, Stu (Mark Fogler), a plastic surgeon obsessed with breasts, further tarnishes an overwhelmingly dirty movie that didn't need any more grime. Stu's sole purpose is to recite as many slang terms for the female anatomy as possible — it gets old fast. "Good Luck Chuck" is a poorly advertised and poorly executed comedy full of every kind of debauchery. Seeing Dane Cook's antics is — as many will expect — quite funny, but even his best gags lose momentum. Even more unfortunate for many potential viewers, the nudity doesn't make this film worth it, if the hope of seeing Alba exposed is the motivation for the trip to the theater. Falling short of the trailers — which as usual show just about every funny moment in the film — "Good Luck Chuck" will definitely produce a few laugh-filled theaters, but even the trailers aren't worth seeing twice. 1 1/2 stars out of 5