New Releases:
DOA: Dead or Alive
Scantily clad, allegedly “beautiful” women are all this movie has to offer, but sadly, no T&A. "DOA" horrendously assaults the senses of even the saddest and most desperate of straight males. Adapted from a fighting video game series of the same name, "DOA" is hackneyed, absurd and cheap-feeling from the first scene, leaving the lingering question: “Is this supposed to be a joke?” It’s not, and it is a much less funny non-joke than the movie "Mortal Kombat." (Remember that? Yeah, "MK" is Oscar-worthy in the ranks of "DOA.") The plot in itself is indicative of just how laughable this movie is: The best fighters from around the world enter a tournament to win a cool $10 million, but the host has secretly injected the fighters with nanobot cells (yes, that’s right, nanobot cells), which he uses to download their fighting moves (into his brain?) via a pair of sunglasses. Does anything more need to be said? Probably not, but I’ll continue. More poorly choreographed and shot fight scenes are unlikely to be found in any movie past or present, the acting is painfully amateur, the script is stale and clichéd, and ironically, better CG and sound effects can be found in video games. Aside from humor derived from its sheer badness, there is no reason to see "DOA." For interested males, even the endless bikini scenes aren’t enough to balance the rest — just go pick up SI or porn instead.
1/2 star out of 5
Snow Cake
It's always refreshing to see relatively well-known actors in independent films, and "Snow Cake" is a prime example.. The film follows Alex Hughes (Alan Rickman, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix"), a man haunted by his past and social ineptitude, as he meets the mother of a hitchhiking teenage girl who died in a subsequent car accident. The mother (Sigourney Weaver, "The Village"), however, is a highly functioning autistic woman. The premise is intriguing and offers a perspective not often seen in films — that of the autistic. Yet, "Snow Cake" is surprisingly lacking in flavor and direction, and it noticeably loses its focus several times, giving it the feel of an upper-end made-for-TV movie. With better editing and directing, it may have made an excellent short film, but doesn't go deep enough to ever make its point. Although the film presents a very believably real and unusual slice of life, it is as emotionless as Weaver's character and only delivers in one scene. Curiously waiting for either snow or cakes to appear keeps the viewer more hooked than most of the scenes. Luckily, Rickman breathes life into the witty, albeit slow and wandering script with a truly impressive performance. "Snow Cake" is enjoyable, but unmoving, thus rather unremarkable.
3 stars out of 5
Throwback: Breaking the Waves (1996)
Director Lars von Trier, well known for his unconventionally simplistic approach to making films with intense plots and an eerie feel of reality, showcased these techniques in "Breaking the Waves," one of his earlier works. Anyone familiar with von Trier's work would immediately recognize his style of hand-held camera, natural lighting, no musical score and long and often choppily-cut scenes. "Breaking the Waves," heralded as showing the power of love, is likely the darkest, most messed-up glimpse of the power of love ever seen. Set during the 1970s in Scotland, the story follows Bess, a mentally-unstable lass who thinks she is conversing with God. However, it's just herself personifying and voicing her own thoughts, thinking they are God's. It gets weirder. Her newlywed husband becomes paralyzed in an accident and starts to manipulate the mentally-fragile Bess into satiating his perverse fantasies. Bess, however, thinks God will kill her husband if she doesn't obey — that is, if she doesn't sleep with other men and then report the details to the paraplegic puppeteer. Culminating in a powerful portrait of the depraved, "Waves" leaves you at a loss for words. Like most of von Triers films, it's very lengthy, slowly building a complex reality to fully exploit in a powerfully intense, shattering end. If you can make it through the first 45 minutes to an hour, the pay-off will be worth it.
4 stars out of 5
Other recent releases on DVD: "Ten ’til Noon" is an indie thriller, uncreatively set in a 10-minute period re-shown through multiple perspectives. "Even Money," is a gambling-based drama likely bringing Danny DeVito ever closer to the end of his acting career (which can't come soon enough).
Coming out on DVD tomorrow (9/18): "Grindhouse," a collaborative homage to action/horror movies by some of the top names in the biz, including Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez and Rob Zombie; "Lucky You," yet another romantic comedy starring Drew Barrymore; "Zoo," a documentary focused on exposing the secretive and highly taboo world of bestiality; "Severance," an Irish comedy-horror set among coworkers; and "Triad Election," a Hong-Kong mob film.
