After we've pre-fried our bodies in tanning beds, stocked up on new clothes and looked on in horror as our savings account progressively sank lower, we finally see a lovely end in sight: Spring Break '07. Spring break is a must for college students. We work hard (but still play hard) during the grueling school months, but once spring break comes, we play to the extreme. For those of us lucky enough to travel somewhere festive, the possibilities of what we could get into are endless. But since this is a sex column, we're going to skip the parasailing and snorkeling and get straight to the juicy stuff. When a college student goes on spring break, it is usually assumed (rightly or not), that they will engage in heavy drinking, heavy partying, extreme sunning and promiscuous, random sex. And, although I hate to stereotype, there's usually some truth there. Whether you're just going on the trip to relax on the beach or you're planning on appearing in the next "Girls Gone Wild" video, you will most likely get yourself into some sort of sexual situation. So, now that we've acknowledged this carnivalesque behavior happens, let me bring up the dilemma that we will all inevitably face: quality versus quantity of hookups. Believe it or not, that decision is pretty much the sole factor in deciding which direction your trip will go. There's the "I'm single in a foreign country where no one knows me, so I'm going to get my kicks while I'm still young" route, or there's the "I want to just chill out and maybe meet someone cool" route. Black and white decisions are hard — I know — but you have to at least be leaning toward one of those sides before you get off your flight. Luckily, I have insights into the highs and lows of spring break hookups. And for your entertainment, allow me to fill you in about a delightful little spring break scandal. So, these girls go down to Mexico and decide to engage in some friendly competition. The game goes like this: Each boy they made out with was a point. Whoever got the most "points" at the end of the trip was the winner. You might be thinking, "Couldn't they just lie about their numbers to win?" Well, these girls were one step ahead. In order to get a point, at least one of the other players of the game had to be present at the time of the hookup. Long story short, these girls had a very eventful spring break — each scoring more than 30 points or so. Talk about a little friendly competition. Depending how you look at it, that is actually pretty tame. Many eager spring breakers go beyond just making out into full-fledged, sloppy, drunken sex. What is the appeal of this, people ask? Well, it all stems from the "Whatever happens in (insert exotic location) stays in (said exotic location)" mentality. Basically, we fly to a far-off land where no one knows us and get all of our naughty behavior out of our systems. And even if you're not into this, it's hard to escape it with companies like SunParties promoting the dirtiest nearby orgies and anybody who is anybody on spring break will be in attendance there. Well, if you're one of the many people who decide to get a little crazy on spring break, it's at least pretty much anonymous, right? Wrong! Considering about eight out of 10 spring breakers go to Mexico — the hotspots being Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlán, Cabo and, of course, Cancun — it's not at all unlikely that you'll run into that quiet girl in your calculus class dancing completely topless on the counter of a bar. I personally have run into people I've known from school, and it's definitely a little awkward. But despite the risk of being caught, that usually doesn't stop people from getting it on. What about those other hookups that aren't quite so trashy: the one-week flings? Spring break flings are actually quite common. However, if this is your type of vacation romance, be sure to get on it early, because people usually pair off minutes after checking into their hotels. One week flings in a tropical paradise are almost everyone's fantasy — meeting that sexy guy or girl on the beach, with no other obligations except to have fun. Depending on how you work it, this can also be quite romantic. How many stories have you heard from friends who met "like, the perfect guy" on spring break? The only problem with this, though, is they most likely live on the other side of the country. Ten years ago, this would be a huge setback. However, thanks to the high-tech joys of Facebook and cell phones, one week doesn't have to be the fling's limit. This is always nice because the next time you just happen to travel to, say, Arizona, you will have a place to crash, and who knows, maybe you'll rekindle that carefree fling. All these are nice, but let me end with the ultimate sexy hookup: the true foreigner. What is it about those exotic features, sensual accent and different way of life that gets us so hot and bothered? Well, it's those qualities exactly. Seriously, who wants to go for other Americans when you can have someone foreign? I definitely recommend trying to broaden your horizons and trying to scope out people not from the United States because everyone needs to maintain international relations. So, with that, I bid you farewell, and I hope you're all ready to have an oh-so-sexy Spring Break '07! Ciao! Jenny Kalaidis is a freshman majoring in communication arts and journalism. Who's ready for a sweet all-inclusive vacation and random sex on the side? Send questions, comments and tales of spring break debauchery to [email protected].