It is a sad reality that we live in a world where Hollywood filmmakers think they can get away with taking a video game and transposing it onto the silver screen. I will admit that on occasion their efforts are not in vain, but on the other hand, I have more often than not been left with a feeling of, "What the hell were you thinking?" Let us take a cinematic trip through those worth the budget and others that leave us feeling we have just lost two hours that we can never get back.
Who doesn't remember their first experience of wielding the dual pistols of lady Lara Croft back when "Tomb Raider" was first released way back in 1996? As Lara, players gallivant about the globe searching for lost artifacts, solving puzzles and busting a cap in a few tigers here and there. Not surprisingly, an 18-year-old boy designed the original character model of Lady Croft; isn't it obvious just by looking at her?
"Tomb Raider" met great success in the video game market and made it to theaters in June 2001. Grossing more then $275 million worldwide in theaters, it stands as one of the greatest cash crops the video game-adaptation genre has seen to date. And seriously, with Angelina Jolie as the heroine, how could this series not be successful? In all seriousness, both film installments stay pretty true to style as far as the games are concerned. Lara traverses the globe, finds ancient swag, thwarts sinister forces and looks fine doing it. Besides, who isn't a sucker for a British accent? I know I am.
A huge success in the world of gaming came in the form of "Final Fantasy VII" late in 1997 here in the States. The story is, frankly, complex, following the main character Cloud Strife as he pieces together his fragmented past, along with a hodge-podge of sidekicks. Flash forward eight years into the future, and every "Final Fantasy" fanboy and fangirl is giddily awaiting the release of the film incarnation "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children."
With the DVD release, gamers were once again reunited with all of their favorite heroes, like Cloud and Tifa, but also with those we love to hate like Sephiroth, the one-winged angel.
I will admit the film is merely two hours of fan service aiming to please those who have a strong familiarity with the game itself. Really, if you haven't played "FFVII" to the end, you have no reason to care about the story, nor will it really make a whole lot of sense. Personally, I loved the movie since I logged a ridiculous amount of hours into the game.
I felt the characters were very true to their game counterparts, and the CG animation was simply beautiful. However, I was a little disappointed that some of the characters, like Yuffie and Red XIII, were just kind of tossed in for cameo appearances like they didn't even matter. Fans waited a long time for this film, and I should say it was worth it.
Some game-to-movie transitions are really just unspeakably bad, especially when some studio thinks it is a good idea to turn a first-person shooter into a semi-first-person film. Two shining examples of abysmal failure come for the games "House of the Dead" and the legendary "Doom."
"House of the Dead" is a light gun arcade game that can be found in just about any arcade. The movie version takes place on an island where teen ravers find that, shockingly, the island has been taken over by zombies. So what else can they do but brandish some weapons and hope to blast their way out? This movie was made on a budget of about $12,000 and featured actual sequences of gameplay. Yes, arcade graphics were inserted into film.
Surprisingly enough, even though this abomination was received so poorly in theaters, there was a made-for-TV sequel that makes me want to put that light gun to good use and take out some moronic producers.
The "Doom" universe is a classic for gamers of all ages. I still remember getting my copy for my first PC at around age 10. The rocket launcher and chainsaw, of course, were my weapons of choice. Unfortunately, nostalgia aside, "Doom" has been ruined for me with its cinematic incarnation starring "The Rock." Seriously, he was done after "The Scorpion King," as we all "smell what The Rock is cooking:" a piss-poor film career. Like "House of the Dead," "Doom" was poorly received by gamers and the general public. Lack of emphasis on the classic weapons like the BFG9000 (Big F***ing Gun) or the chainsaw and abysmal first-person perspectives just make this a complete waste of time.
Finally, who could forget the infamous creation that was "Super Mario Bros?" Truly, I must say that this film has really very little in common with the beloved games other than coincidentally sharing the same title. I remember being excited to see this movie, and then being completely confused after watching it. I had so many questions. For instance, why is Bowser a human who transforms into a T-Rex-looking dinosaur, and why in God's name are Goombas six feet tall and dancing? This poor excuse for a film does not deserve to possess the "Super Mario" brand, and I am surprised that Shigeru Miyamoto (father of Mario) didn't have a heart attack when it was released. I will give them one point for effort since they kept the mushrooms and even included cute little Bob-ombs.
The list of games goes on and on, from "BloodRayne" to "Pokémon" and everything in between. However, it is plain to see success on the small screen does not always translate well to the silver screen. Buyer beware with these films, as they can really ruin the gaming experience with thoughtlessly crude attempts at mimicking story lines or adhering to character personalities. However, nothing can be done to stop this, as we have several more films to look forward to. Notably "Tekken" in 2009, adding another "Mortal Kombat" style film to this genre. I shudder to think what nonsense will be churned out to ruin another series. I think I will stick to playing games with a control instead of a DVD player.
Justin Voss is a sophomore majoring in Japanese. Did "Super Mario Bros" the movie completely ruin the early '90s for you? E-mail your rants to [email protected].
