Rush Limbaugh is president. Ann Coulter is vice president. Sounds like a staunch Republican's dream. Wait, Limbaugh and Coulter are acting — this is a nightmare for anyone to witness. The viewer's nightmare doesn't end there: This is the first segment of the new Fox News series "The Half Hour News Hour," which premiered on Sunday night. The show is a "Daily Show"-like news parody with a conservative bias. There is nothing wrong with the concept, and it definitely deserved a go. Unfortunately, "The Half Hour News Hour" may have squandered the opportunity. What a waste of potential. I agree that "The Daily Show" and most political comedy in general leans to the left. I also agree that conservatives deserve a comedy show of their own. However, this shouldn't be it. If I didn't have a column to write, I would have shut it off in the first five minutes. The show just isn't funny. In fact, it is more mean-spirited than anything, as if a fifth-grade bully who teases his classmates in order to hide from his own insecurities wrote the show. For instance, at one point, the show introduces a new magazine called "BO: The Barack Obama Magazine." Get it? Obama's initials are the same as body odor! Take that, Barack Obama, or should I say, BO! Coming up next week, Obama gets a wedgie. Kurt McNally (Kurt Long), who takes the concept of deadpan to an awkward extreme, co-hosts the show with the vacant Jennifer Lange (Jenn Robertson). I find it strange that they use aliases, but then again, I wouldn't want to be associated with this show either. These two lack so much chemistry, they make Seth Myers and Amy Poehler look like a fireworks display. In fact, they rattle off each joke at a pace reminiscent of "Weekend Update," but without all that pesky laughter from the audience to slow them down. At times, I wasn't even sure if the laughter was coming from the audience or a sound-effects tape. The two hosts couldn't seem more uninterested in the topics they discuss, reading everything off the teleprompter like especially stiff robots. The great thing about "The Daily Show" is its sense of spontaneity. Jon Stewart may read everything off a teleprompter, but he conveys it with feeling and adds his own little twist every once and a while. It seems less scripted and more fun. "The Half Hour News Hour," on the other hand, is the opposite of fun. If I had to point out the major flaw, aside from not being funny, I would say the show leans so far to the right, it refuses to have a sense of humor about itself. This gives it the off-putting aura of arrogance. Even though "The Daily Show," and specifically Jon Stewart, has an obvious liberal bias, this bias rarely affects the humor. The show gladly slams liberals, conservatives and anyone else who deserves it. The way "The Half Hour News Hour" is produced makes me wonder if the writers ignore the bipartisan ribbing on "The Daily Show" and immediately take everything personally, which, like the bully from before, would just be childish and oddly defensive. Instead of saying something intelligent, they come back with the TV show equivalent of "My political views can beat up your political views." The most cringe-inducing moments came with the introduction of Lenny Varnadou, a novelty T-shirt salesman. Comedian Dom Irrera, who is much better than this show, played Lenny. As he displayed each T-shirt with a picture of a political figure and a supposedly funny saying (e.g. "Shiite Happens"), the two hosts identified the picture and read the slogan aloud. I found this incredibly condescending and annoying, as if they thought the viewers were incapable of reading or understanding the joke on their own (although if the show continues, this will probably reflect the regular audience). "The Half Hour News Hour" is brought to us by Joel Surnow, the executive producer of "24." If "24" weren't such a big hit, I'd say this monstrosity would be the end of his career. It certainly won't help it. I don't blame Fox News for this one. Conservatives do deserve a comedic voice, but the show was just poorly executed. Until someone figures out how to do it correctly, I suppose conservatives have Dennis Miller (who I personally consider a comedy genius) during the occasional "Tonight Show" appearance and, to a more depressing degree, "Blue Collar TV." Now that "The Half Hour News Hour" has premiered, I'm thinking Fox News will yank it off the air very soon, bury the tapes in the studio vault and never talk about it again. Then, Fox News can go back to doing what it does best — supplying "The Daily Show" with material. Mike Peters is a senior focusing on communication arts, film and business. Thought the Barack Obama body odor gag was actually funny? Let Mike know at [email protected].