The audition round of "American Idol" wrapped up Wednesday night, and I couldn't be sadder. That's right, I have been watching "American Idol." I'm not afraid to admit it. Actually, I sort of am, but as long I'm coming clean about "American Idol," I might as well tell you about some other guilty television pleasures of mine. I find every one of these shows endlessly amusing, chock full of comedy gold, even though I know a large amount of people who find them incessantly annoying. They're just in denial. "American Idol" — As I watched the audition round of "American Idol," I found it funny at the end of every episode when they stated the amount of people who made it to Hollywood and rapidly flashed each of their celebrations on the screen, even though a majority of them were never even featured on the show. What I found even funnier — and I think this explains why I didn't see many good singers featured — was the large amount of losers this season turned out. I don't feel as though I am being cruel for calling them losers, because, for one, they did in fact lose. Also, every year "American Idol" is criticized for being mean to the contestants, exploiting their eccentricities for laughs. However, we have to keep in mind that these people willingly audition. Nobody is forcing them. I suppose I'd find it much harder to laugh if a contestant were to walk in with a gun to his or her back, but that's not at all the case. Either that or the gunman is really good at hiding. These people jump at a chance for fame, even if that fame lasts less than Andy Warhol's predicted 15 minutes. Plus, most of these people believe they are truly talented. It is hard to feel sorry for an arrogant, tone-deaf singer. The more they believe they have talent, the funnier it is to watch them fail. Again, I do not think this is cruel. What would be cruel would be to continue to encourage them, which Simon Cowell mercifully and humorously makes sure not to do. I look forward to each and every new way he comes up with to say "absolutely dreadful." Every season, Simon gets his knickers in a twist about how this or that city has the worst auditions ever. This must be just an act for the cameras. Simon and his producers clearly understand that terrible singing equals terrific ratings. Why else would Simon allow an awful singer to keep singing? It's entertaining — for him and for us. "Deal or No Deal" — I can think of three reason I enjoy watching this show: ogling the models, using little to no brain power while viewing and seeing greedy people go from thinking they're rich to getting practically nothing, which is highly entertaining. Also, I can't help but wonder what would happen if someone were to do something to send Howie Mandel into a germaphobic rage. Now I am being cruel. "Next" — I hate MTV, but have a love/hate relationship with this show. Almost as soon as I start watching it, my neck begins to hurt from shaking my head every five seconds in astonishment. To sum it up briefly, one person dates five others individually and says "next" as soon as he or she no longer wants to be on the date with the current contestant. This show showcases the most despicable people on the face of the earth. The worst, and also funniest, is when a person walks out of the bus and gets immediately "nexted." Not only is the "nexter" laughably shallow, but the response from the "nextee" is almost always something to the hilarious effect of "Whatever. You're ugly anyway." They're both so shallow and conceited that Match.com would probably consider them perfect for each other. Throw in the clearly scripted insults and introductions, a narrator who sounds like a Dr. Seuss book gone bad and nonstop innuendos and you've got yourself a laugh riot. I commend anyone who can say, "She may have looked good from afar, but when I got up close, she was far from good" with a straight face. I may not be laughing for all the right reasons, but I'm laughing nonetheless. By the way, the only thing more embarrassing than watching this show on MTV is watching it On Demand. Alone. "Match Game" — This one I am not so embarrassed about, but I'd still classify it as a guilty pleasure. This show is intentionally and legitimately funny. Contestants have to fill in a blank, which usually functions as a punch line to a given setup, and hope that they match as many responses from the celebrity panel as possible. The best episodes include the power trio — Charles Nelson Reilly, Brett Somers and Richard Dawson. The basic sequence of events usually go as follows: Brett gives her answer, to which Charles makes a witty wisecrack, to which Brett retorts, which is sometimes followed by some sort of clever interjection from Richard, who also always ends up having the best punch line written on his card. This formula works so well that if one of these celebrities is absent, I immediately change the channel. I have to say, it feels good getting these guilty pleasures off my chest. No longer will I have to pretend I have never heard of the MTV dating show "Next," that I don't know case No. 10's name (Anya), or that I have no idea who this Taylor Hicks guy is. I mean, who's this Taylor Hicks guy? Mike Peters is a senior focusing on communication arts, film and business. Have you been inspired to divulge any guilty secrets (entertainment-wise, that is)? Let Mike know at [email protected].