Tim Allen trades his grunts for growls in Disney's latest adaptation of "The Shaggy Dog." If nothing else, at least Allen finally has an excuse to behave like an animal.

The movie begins in true Disney fashion — making a bigger deal out of the plot than is necessary for a children's movie. A helicopter is shown zeroing in on a foreign monastery. The passengers are in search of a dog that has been alive for centuries. It is known as "The Dog of Ageless Wonder."

The dog (newcomer Coal) is shown meditating among the monks. The pose the dog is sitting in is ridiculous, but then again so is the entire premise. To learn more about how the dog has survived for so many years, they capture the dog and transport him back to the United States.

This is where Allen comes into the picture. Allen plays Dave Douglas, an attorney prosecuting his daughter's teacher, Justin Forrester (Joshua Leonard, "The Blair Witch Project"). Mr. Forrester has been accused of starting a fire in protest of some alleged animal-testing going on at a local laboratory.

The man behind the animal testing is Dr. Kozak (Robert Downey Jr., "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"). Downey effectively portrays a smarmy, arrogant man who cares very little about anyone but himself. Kozak is running a project set out to find the cause for the dog's long life.

He finds that a genetic mutation has reversed the traditional concept of "dog years." In other words, the dog lives seven years for every one human year. This means that the dog could potentially live for over 700 years. His plan is to isolate this mutation and market it to humans, despite the risk of human lives tied to the experimentation.

However, changing Dave's course of action is what the movie is all about. Early on, it is established that Dave hates dogs, does not spend enough time with his wife, Rebecca (Kristin Davis, "Sex and the City"), encourages his son, Josh (Spencer Breslin, the kid in Disney's "The Kid") to participate in football against his will and does not support the radical thinking of his daughter, Carly (Zena Grey, "In Good Company"). Perhaps becoming a dog is the only way to finally give him some insight into every single one of these negative attributes. How else could he better himself?

Clearly, this is exactly what happens. While trying to find some evidence of animal testing at the laboratory, Carly stumbles upon the dog. After realizing that the dog does not have any tags or evidence of testing, she brings the dog home and names it Shaggy. Upon seeing the dog, Dave forcefully drags it out into the garage. His hatred for dogs is unexplained aside from the obvious reason that it exists to instill yet another change.

Then, not surprisingly, Shaggy bites Dave's hand. A look into Dave's bloodstream shows his body being overrun with shaggy germs (yes, the germs are in the shape of sheepdogs). Almost immediately, Dave begins to show signs of becoming a dog — panting, scratching, ultra-sensitive hearing … the list goes on and on.

Allen does an adequate job portraying a man turning into a dog, but there is nothing particularly humorous about it. The observations made about the ways in which a dog behaves are so clichéd that none of the jokes are unique.

For example, Dave spins in circles as he chases the belt of his robe. We have seen the "dog chasing its tail" joke a million times before. Dogs do plenty of other amusing things. Why not explore some fresh territory?

Probably because that would be too hard. The movie itself is a remake, more or less the easiest way to throw a movie together with as little creative thought as possible. The next day, just as in the original version, Dave completely turns into a dog identical to Shaggy.

Thankfully, none of the transformations are done onscreen. It is safe to say that no amount of computer technology could make that process look natural. All that remains now is for Dave to transform into the ideal dad.

Certain moments are borderline touching, but the fact that Dave is a dog negates any sentimental feeling that the viewer has concerning his strengthening family bonds. Also, these scenes are done in such a melodramatic manner, some may find that they humorously clash with the outrageous "man turning into a dog" plot.

As if everything was not preposterous enough, the conclusion reaches a new height. Without giving away the ending (as if you care), let's just say that Shaggy joins in on a recreational activity during the family's vacation.

Amazingly, a large number of famous faces appear in the movie. Besides all the aforementioned, Danny Glover appears as Dave's boss and ex-"Late Late Show" host Craig Kilborn aptly portrays Dave's pompous neighbor.

The movie also works as a vehicle for washed-up Saturday Night Live alumni. Jane Curtin is the judge presiding over the trial in question, Laura Kightlinger plays Josh's teacher and, of course, Downey is the movie's villain.

Will children enjoy the movie? Maybe, if they get a kick out of genetic mutation and courtroom scenes. Will adults enjoy the movie? Perhaps, if seeing a grown man act like a dog tickles their fancies. Generally, though, the movie does not appeal to anyone. To put it another way, the movie is unappealing.

Rating: 2 out of 5