It's usually a bad sign when a movie isn't screened for critics. "Underworld: Evolution" certainly isn't planning to sell tickets through critical acclaim. But while the movie doesn't have much to brag about in the way of plot, acting or creative characters, it is still a good movie for any action fans.
"Underworld" has all the right ingredients to satisfy the guy movie-going psyche: an incredibly good-looking heroine and a major amount of action — both with and without guns.
As the sequel to the $100 million hit "Underworld," the movie jumps right in where the last one left off, taking almost no time to explain the story or set the scene. What little plot "Underworld" has is still best understood by viewing the first movie.
Basically, two races of creatures, Death Dealers (vampires) and Lycans (werewolves) have been locked in a struggle for dominance for nearly a thousand years. Why the creators felt the need to make up new names remains unclear. Each race was spawned by a son of the mysterious Alexander Corvinus (Derek Jacobi, "Nanny McPhee"), although it is never really explained how or why. One son, Markus (Tony Curran, "Blade II"), started the Death Dealers, while the other, William (Brian Steele, "Hellboy"), was the first Lycan.
In the sequel, Markus has emerged from some sort of hibernation as a winged super-vampire and gone on a quest to find his brother, who has been imprisoned for centuries. Alexander thinks his sons must be stopped but doesn't want to kill them, which is why he's been lingering behind the scenes and cleaning up the mess involved in the Death Dealer-Lycan conflict.
The movie would have you believe that some scary dudes named Kravin (Shane Brolly, "Underworld"), Viktor (Billy Nighy, "Love Actually") and Lucian (Michael Sheen, "Kingdom of Heaven") have an important part in this story line, but they don't. Ultimately, the story raises more questions than it answers: Why does Markus want to free his brother, who is, for the most part, an uncontrollable beast? Why does Alexander want to protect his sons, neither of whom is really human anymore? Why are all vampire women sex fiends?
A lot of concepts don't make much sense, such as blood-memory. Markus can download all of a person's memories simply by tasting his or her blood, a skill that's really only included in the film to save time in setting up the fight scenes.
The movie isn't a total waste, though. Once viewers get beyond all the nagging questions and illogicalities, they can sit back and enjoy some good old-fashioned action.
As the main character Selene, Kate Beckinsale ("Van Helsing") causes all the males in the audience to salivate. She wears skin-tight leather and kicks major ass. Her acting skills aren't really tested, but she is perfect for the role. Beautiful in a decidedly un-blonde way and tough-as-nails, it's a pleasure to watch her jump around and gun down Lycans.
In the movie, Selene runs around with Michael (Scott Speedman, "Felicity") and helps him discover how good he is at ripping things apart, especially Lycans' skulls. It doesn't get much more intense than ripping off a werewolf's jaw mid-fight, a move Michael uses often.
There is, of course, an underlying attraction between Selene and Michael, which comes to a head surprisingly early on in the movie. Viewers barely have time to pick up on the sparks between them before the perpetually shirtless Michael is helping Selene take off that uncomfortable leather body suit.
The love scene included in the film is easily forgotten, however, as it is quickly glossed over by the recurrent fight scenes.
The lack of development in the romantic sub-plot is annoying; especially since director Len Wiseman neglected to build up the plot in almost every other aspect of the movie.
This is most evident in the surprising lack of urgency in stopping the diabolical Markus.
What should have been a tense race to defeat Markus' evil scheme is instead a languid excursion through various gloom and doom scenery, with occasional werewolf and vampire attacks thrown in to keep things interesting.
Wiseman displays a remarkable inability to develop suspense in a movie that features all sorts of suspenseful settings. Almost every locale Selene and Michael travel to is creepy and dark, a detail that makes sense because vampires only come out at night. Since this is a vampire movie, there is no shortage of scary characters. Yet there is almost no suspense throughout the entire film, and no seasoned moviegoer will be scared by any of it.
Ultimately, the movie relies on its action-packed showdowns and Kate Beckinsale's ability to look good during them. Most of the movie is fairly predictable. You can easily see how the final showdown is going to end when a helicopter serendipitously crashes into perfect position, blades still spinning.
Despite this, the action is decent and there aren't many heroines hotter than Kate Beckinsale. "Underworld: Evolution" is a guy movie through and through. Final verdict: if you're an action-film guy, or a girl who likes some killer fight scenes, go see the sequel to "Underworld" — just don't bring any critics along.
Rating: 2 out of 5
